Page 77 of Perfect
“You’re okay to look at, I guess,” she says as she winds her arms around my neck, her tone teasing and a slight smirk playing across her face. I thrust hard twice, and warmth spreads through my chest as another laugh bubbles up out of her.
Oh, my god, this is amazing. We’re havingfun.
She tilts her hips, pulling me deeper inside of her. “I need more.”
I nod, picking her legs up and bringing them around my waist before I plant my forearms on either side of her head. She locks her ankles together as I build up my pace slowly. She closes her eyes and her head kicks back as she lets out a low, throaty sound that makes me groan in response, and we move together, our moans mingling as we kiss.
The closer she gets, the more aggressive she gets, drawing her nails down my back hard, biting my lip and panting into my mouth, and that’s going to make me come if I’m not careful. Her leg twitches against me, and I slip my hand between us, rubbingher clit. She pulls back and looks into my eyes, nodding quickly as she gets closer, burying her hands in my hair and making a high-pitched whining noise.
“Please…more…oh my god…right there…that’s…Theo -” My name trails off into a long moan, and I’m on fire as I look down at her, trying to memorize the sound of her moaning my name like that. Her eyes close and she arches into me and starts shaking, and the second she clenches tightly around me, I’m done for, holding her close and moaning her name into her hair as I come with her.
This is so different.
I fucking love it.
We lay there panting, wrapped up in each other’s arms and staring at each other. Alex smiles at me in such an unguarded way that it fully reaches her eyes, and joy and hope flood through me as our connection hums through me stronger than I’ve felt before. She can feel it too, I’m fucking sure of it, because she’sherewith me. We’re finally, totally, completely connected for the first time.
I didn’t understand what that meant until right now.
Alex isn’t justmine. I’mhers.
Oh, shit.
I look down at her gorgeous, happy, flushed face and open my mouth, snapping it shut again when I realize that I’m about to say something catastrophically stupid. I kiss her instead, not trusting myself to speak until I can push the impulse down.
The last thing I need is to scare her off just as she’s finally adjusting.
“How was that?” I ask, and she laughs as I pull out of her and lay down next to her. I run my hand across her chest to cup her breast, feeling her heart pounding beneath her ribs, and she looks at the ceiling, trying to catch her breath, her fingertips grazing against my hand.
“Isthathow boyfriends are supposed to fuck?” I chuckle, kissing her shoulder.
“Good ones, yeah.” She rolls her eyes, looking over at me with a warm expression before cupping my jaw and pressing her body into mine as she kisses me. I lose myself in her easy affection, in the content sounds she makes and the feeling of her smiling against my lips, at how she laughs at the petulant whine that escapes me when she moves to get up, at the way she kisses me once more before she walks to the bathroom on wobbly legs.
I lay back, shocked and exhilarated. I was right initially – wedoconnect emotionally in bed, and wecanbuild on that. I absolutely fucked up the timing and made this so much harder than it should have been, and it’s taken us time to get back on track, but this is finallyworking.
We’re finally adjusting.
Alex comes back to bed, grabbing my college sweater from her dresser and slipping it on, and a rush of hope and affection floods me.Thisis what I want - I want to connect with my gorgeous, perfect girlfriend and then have her wear my clothes and curl up in my arms as she finally recognizes what we have together. I want her to finally open up to me and let me in and start loving me back.
It’s what I want.
What I get is Alex lying close but not touching me, her expression already closing off. The smile she gives me is small and polite but not very affectionate, and her demeanor is less warm and less open, and panic shoots through me when I see how quickly she’s withdrawing. I don’t want to lose what we shared this quickly – I want her to stay with me in the moment. I glance down at the sweater and rub my hand down her arm, hoping this is the thing that keeps her in the moment with me.
“I didn’t know you went to U of O,” I say, working hard to keep my tone light.
She looks confused. “What?”
“The sweater? It’s a University of Oregon sweater.” She frowns down at it and shrugs.
“Oh, I didn’t know that. I didn’t go to college. I didn’t even graduate high school, but I wanted to go to NYU. My mom and I did a campus tour once, and I loved it.” Alexnevervolunteers information about herself like this. She might be withdrawing, but she’s being more open than usual, which means this is still working.
“Where’d you get this?” She looks down at the sweater and smiles.
“I found it at the thrift store. It’s not anything I’d normally wear, but I loved it when I saw it. It even smelled good. It felt like it was already mine, which sounds stupid.” I grin, feeling the hum of connection between us again.
“It’s not stupid at all. Itwasalready yours, because it was mine.” She gives me a confused look. “I donated all of my old clothes a few months ago. Nana bought this for me when I started college, and I wore this thing constantly for years. If you check the tag, my initials are there.” Her face is incredulous for a second before she yanks the sweater off and checks the tag. She stares at the tag, dumbfounded, before she closes her eyes and laughs.
My hopeful smile fades at the bitter tone of her laughter.
