Page 162 of Perfect
“Theo, what -” He cuts me off with a bruising kiss.
“I’m going to fix it,” he mutters quickly against my lips, his thrusts picking up. “I’ll spend the rest of my fucking life making it up to you if you let me, Ipromise,” he whispers.
I have no idea how to respond to anything he’s saying, so I nod and try not to let him see how anxious he’s making me. He pulls me impossibly tighter as I start to come, and he just keeps sayingpleaseagain and again until he’s coming with me.
Afterward, he rolls off me and doesn’t hold me at all, he just lies there and covers his face with his hands, his whole body so tense he’s shaking. I watch him for a moment, horrified and concerned when I realize he’s either crying or trying hard not to cry.
“Teddy?” He doesn’t respond and I havenoidea what to do, so I just wrap him in my arms and kiss his hands and wrists and face and hair. “Everything’s okay. I love you,” I whisper into his ear. “I’m so lucky to have you.” He laughs bitterly.
“You have no fucking idea what you’re talking about,” he snaps at me, and I unwind from him immediately, lying next to him and staring up at the ceiling, confused and extremely hurt.
After a minute, he pulls me close and apologizes profusely, holding me so tightly it’s almost uncomfortable.
I look into his conflicted, upset face, and for just a second, I wonder if he’s hiding something from me, but I know that’s unlikely. The only reason we’re together now is because we’re honest with each other, and I trust him not to hide anything from me.
At this point, I doubt he could tell me anything that would push me away.
***
Alex, 10:01 AM:
let me know when you get there
Theo, 11:51 AM:
Here.
feeling any better?
Fuck no.
I start zipping the emerald pendant along the chain as I stare down at my phone, worried about him. We barely slept after the weird, upsetting sex, and he was stressed and clingy all morning.
There’s got to be something I can do to make him feel better.
let me make you dinner tonight
You don’t have to do that.
please let me take care of you
I don’t deserve you.
teddy stop it
you’re mine and you’re the best and i love you
I love you, too.
Therewe go. I knew that would work. He’ll come home from therapy stressed out, I’ll go over after work and make him dinner, he’ll bitch and moan about how much he hates his therapist, and I’ll spend the rest of the night doing my best to reassure him that I love him in every way I can think of.
We need to talk about his self-esteem at some point, but right now I’ll just focus on taking care of him.
I’ll even see if I can take a late lunch and call him after he gets out of therapy so I can spend the hour calming him down. I’m sure that will make him feel a little better.
I forgot to sign up for my workout class today anyway, so I can do that.
I open my web browser and navigate to the rec center website. I got an email that they recently redid it, and now I can sign up for classes for an entire week ahead of time instead of the day of, which is much more convenient. I navigate to the reservations page and stop dead.
