Page 20 of A Christmas Baby for the Cowboy
She wasn’t sure she’d ever loved a brand-new human more.
By the time the storm finally cleared, the snow stopped, and the temperature rose up high enough to melt the worst of the dangerous ice and leave the snow reasonably passable, it was December 28th.
She’d been living with Knox for days. Knox and a small baby, like a fever dream of domestic bliss.
Ramona’s personal tragedy was that it was far too easy.
Even though she tried her best to caution herself against thinking such things, she couldn’t help but note that they made a great team. They took care of the baby, made food and cleaned up after themselves, tagging in and out seamlessly.
She told herself it wasn’t real life. If Hailey was really their baby, it would be different. Both of them were, on some level, viewing this as a temp position. And everybody knew that temps were only good at their jobs until they assumed a permanent position, at which point they hated it as much as everybody else.
She tried to tell herself that was the only thing going on here, but she smelled like him now because she’d used his soap and his shampoo. Temping didn’t ring true.
Her body was settled in like this was her new home now. Her new life.
But the morning of the 28th was clear. And warmer than it had been for days.
Ramona knew it was time she went home.
“I’ve gotten a little bit attached to you,” she told Hailey, as the little girl blew bubbles up at her and kicked her feet. “I think you’re going to have to put up with me going forward, no matter where you’re living.”
Though she didn’t like thinking that it wouldn’t be here.
Knox had pulled on his boots and a heavy sweater before he’d headed outside. A glance out the window showed her that he was digging her truck out.
Ramona was beginning to think that claims to sobriety concerning him were a little bit silly. Sure, she hadn’t imbibed. But she was basically floating in a barrel of all things Knox, letting him sink into her pores.
It was past time to go.
He came back inside, and there was a look on his face that she couldn’t have described if her life depended on it, but she could feel it. She could feel him.
She tucked Hailey into her makeshift crib and kissed her. Once, then again.
And if she felt like crying when she stood again, she blinked it away. Then set about pulling on her outer layers while pretending Knox wasn’t right there.
Taking up all the air in the room.
“Don’t forget your backpack,” he said.
“Oh.” That was not what she meant to say, but he was closer than she thought when she straightened from pulling on her boots. “I’m leaving that here. You can bring the backpack to the clinic sometime, when you’ve used everything.”
“That’s very kind.”
He did not look like he was thinking about kindness.
Ramona knew she wasn’t.
She tugged on her various layers, shoved her hat on, wrapped her scarf around her neck, and was something like relieved to zip up her heavy coat. To be wearing an entire cold weather fortress.
Surely that would keep her safe from her own worst impulses.
Knox grabbed her medical bag and walked her out. Her truck was running, meaning he’d started it so it would be warm when she got in. He’d shoveled a path down from his porch and walked in front of her to swing her bag into the passenger seat.
Then he stood there as she came toward him, and she couldn’t quite bring herself to round the hood.
“I’m glad you called me,” she said.
“I am too.”
