Page 47 of Crash Landing
She did not know if she could ever describe what her own parents had together as love. Her father did not stray. At least, not that she was ever aware. But neither did her parents ever show each other great affection.
And yet they were a cohesive unit when it came to elevating her brother and casting her aside.
Trajan put his hand over hers to regain her attention. “You turned sad, Florence.”
She shook her head. “I got lost in my thoughts for a moment. You are awfully attentive to me this morning. I did not mean to interfere with your reading the newspaper.”
“I’ll read it later. You are not interfering. I like having you beside me.”
“I like being here,” she admitted.
“I am sometimes a growling bear in the morning, but I don’t mind a bit of chatter most days. You caught me on a bad day yesterday, but that was because I was still overset about what had happened the day before.”
“Any remaining soreness or bruises?”
“From your landing atop me?” He grinned. “No, I’m fine. You?”
“Not a scratch, and I will do my best to keep it that way,” she added before he could chide her. “All is in readiness for Lady Frampton’s arrival. Is there anything you would like me to ask her?”
“Something you have not already thought of? No.” He took a sip of his coffee and then set down his cup. “I expect you have been doing nothing but thinking of questions for her.”
“Yes, but mostly how to ask them within the flow of a conversation so that she does not grow suspicious of my true intentions.”
He shook his head. “Florence, do you not think her husband will have warned her?”
“Well, yes, I’m sure he will have, but that cannot stop me from asking my questions. And I have considered something else.”
“What is that?”
“What if she is not happy with what he is doing?”
His eyes widened. “Are you thinking to have her betray her husband?”
“It was just a thought, something to keep in the back of my mind. Of course, it will not work if she is just as ruthless as he is. But what if she is softhearted and cannot bear the way he is destroying other people?”
“Being softhearted is one thing. She would also have to be exceptionally brave to ever dare defy him. It could be a death sentence for her. Have you thought of that?”
“Yes, but there are some risks that are worth taking.”
“And some that are not. His downfall would also lead to herdownfall. You are not only asking her to be brave but willing to destroy her own reputation and comfortable life, and for what? Your brother, who deserves the punishment he is about to get? Or some nameless man who was stupid enough to put his torrid extramarital thoughts in writing? Are either of these fellows worth the risk?”
Her heart sank, for he was right. Her mind was so clouded by her own need to save her brother, who was not worth saving in the first place, that she was not properly considering the danger to Lady Frampton. Of course, this assumed the lady would consider helping her get those letters back.
Nor were Florence’s motives pious. She wanted to save her brother in order to shove her good deed in the faces of her parents. In her heart, she knew her mother would never love her. Nor would her brother ever show the least appreciation.
“Oh, Florence,” Trajan said with an ache to his voice. “Are you going to cry?”
She nodded. “Everything you said is right. I have been so obsessed with my own desire to be appreciated by my family that I was blinded to everyone else I might hurt.”
He placed his hand over hers. “Wanting to save your brother is a noble sacrifice.”
“But my heart is not noble. I agreed to retrieving the letters because I wanted to show my family that I was the better person,” she said with a shake of head, struggling to hold back her tears. “My foolish brother was the perfect foil, the perfect means to a selfish end. My motives were not honorable. He is a cruel and wretched person. I would be happy never to see him again.”
She took out her handkerchief, as her tears now fell. “And what does this say about me? I am just as horrible as he is, not even thinking of the harm I might do to Lady Frampton if she were ever so kind as to help me.”
“Come here, sweetheart.” He drew her out of her chair and ontohis lap, wrapping his arms around her. “See, I was going to get you onto my lap one way or another.”
“Smartly done,” she said, laughing between her tears.
