Page 87 of The Deals We Make
I reach for her hand. “Now you’re worried about her?”
Calista nods. “I wonder if I was meant to come back here now so we could…I don’t know, reconnect. Even though I hired Melanie to look after her and got her in the process of understanding what is happening to her, even though I have all the money in the world to throw at the problem, money can’t always buy time, can it?”
I put my arm around her and pull her close to my side. The way she tucks in beneath it makes me sigh with satisfaction. “No, sweetheart, it can’t.”
“So, what am I supposed to do?” Her voice is small. It sucks that she’s hurting.
“I don’t know, sweetheart. But we’ll figure it out together. You don’t have to figure it out alone.”
26
CALISTA
The following day, I’m filled with doubt.
I should have put a stop to Ti’s plan when I slid down the back of his bathroom door until my Dior-clad butt hit tile floor. When I couldn’t get my heart rate under control and the exercise tracker in my watch thought I was doing cardio.
When the world got a little blurry around the edges and I dipped my forehead to my knees.
Therapy has ensured I haven’t had a panic attack in a really long time.
I refuse to call what I’m experiencing today by that name.
Because that girl on the floor pulled herself together. I dabbed at the sweat on my forehead and upper lip. Some sips of cold water straight from the faucet helped.
And then, I breathed deeply three times, told myself I could do this, rolled my shoulders back, and pulled my shit together to walk out of his bathroom and smile at Ti.
Because this is important to him.
I didn’t tell him about the panic attack then, but I will later. Just so he knows it happened and I went through with this anyway. I didn’t want to put a damper on an event he wasreally looking forward to. I don’t know whether to call it a bridal shower because the men will be there. It’s not a traditional bachelor or bachelorette thing either. More like a pre-wedding party where everyone will be together and there will be gifts.
But now, as the clubhouse pulls into view, I want to run. I want to hide.
I can feel my breath becoming shallower. Sweat is gathering on my brow and likely arm pits. I waft my elbows a little to ensure airflow because I don’t want sweat marks on this silk.
Ti is wearing his vest that declares his road name to be Vex.
And I don’t want to take a footstep into that building.
“You okay?” Ti asks, squeezing my knee.
“Sure,” I say breezily, as if I’m not dying a little inside. Like I’m not thinking any further ahead than the next ten seconds.
Ti looks over at me, pride in his eyes. “Did I tell you how good you look in that dress?”
It’s covered by a thick overcoat. And I can’t remember if he did, or he didn’t. There was a tinny taste in my mouth at the time, and I was focused on my shaking knees when he saw me come out of the bathroom. “You could always tell me again.”
Ti grins like I’m teasing instead of bluffing. “You look real fucking pretty, Calista. Makes a man proud to walk into a party like this with a woman like you on his arm.”
“I don’t have an invite or a gift,” I say, trying to think of a reason why I maybe shouldn’t go inside with Ti.
“No one will be expecting one—plus, I already got ‘em one.” He turns to get out of the truck, even opens his door. Then, he spins back onto his seat and slams the door shut. “I’m so fucking stupid.” He takes my wrist and presses his fingers to my pulse. “Jesus, Cal. Your heartbeat is racing. You don’t want to be here, do you?”
“It’s fine,” I say. “I’ll make it work.”
“Calista. Would it kill you to say, ‘Hey, Ti. I’m struggling with PTSD from the last time I came face-to-face with a bunch of Outlaws and I need your help?’”
“Actually, it would. It would make all this harder. I just need to?—”
