Page 45 of The Deals We Make
“I’m not sure I want to relive it.”
Vex sits next to me and places his phone on the coffee table. Too close, really, but he turns so he’s facing me and squeezes my knee gently. “I’m really fucking sorry they assaulted you and terrified you, but if I’m going to make all this right, I need to know as much as you can tell me.”
His phone rings and I glance at it.
King.
“You need to answer that,Vex?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “No. I don’t.” He picks up the phone and turns it off. “Nothing he could have to say to me is more important than what we’re about to discuss. And I said call me Ti when we’re here. I don’t want the club or my road name between us in conversations like this.”
“I feel likeVexputs a suitable distance between the two of us.”
“Don’t be obtuse. Talk to me, Calista.”
“We fought the day before about hacking the Outlaws,” I say. “I was so mad at you, because it was an easy target. My plan wasto drop some malware onto the computer in the garage because they had a network set up.”
“I remember. You were going to take your mom’s car in for a service, and I told you it was fucking reckless because the registration of the car was highly traceable. And if they’d found out, they would have killed you.”
I eye him carefully. “Given the benefit of hindsight, is that true?”
“Babe, I’ve seen men get killed for a lot less.”
That isn’t the first time he’s called mebabe. The logical, independent part of my brain wants to rail against it. But there’s a part of me that just went all soft and squishy at those four letters.
I wonder if the boy I once knew is also capable of such things. Taking a life seems so final, and a million miles from the boy who was always so gentle. I was the most likely to come out swinging. He was always the peacemaker. Maybe the life he leads has hardened him.
“Anyway. After all my reconnaissance, I was mad you weren’t impressed. You usually were. We’d come up with these plans together. I watched them, and they often left their little office unattended.”
Vex shakes his head. “That’s because they know there’s no one reckless enough to steal from the Outlaws.”
“Except me,” I say.
“Except you.”
“Anyway, I shared my plan with you, but you were furious and bailed on me.”
“You were so resolute you were going to do it. And I knew how bullheaded you could be. If you wanted to do something badly enough, you’d find a way. But there was something about you that day. You’d gotten greedier.”
I shake my head and look down at my whiskey glass. “I’d found out how powerful it felt to steal money and give it away.”
Vex does a double take. “What?”
“You thought I was stealing all this money for myself, but the truth was, I was donating large chunks of it.”
“Why the fuck wouldn’t you tell me?”
“I’ve asked myself that question a thousand times, and I think the answer might make you really uncomfortable.”
Vex knocks his whiskey back in one swallow. “You can’t just leave a guy hanging with that.”
Nervously, I pick at a thread on one of the cushions. “I thought I was in love with you. As much as you could be at that age. But you never saw me as anything other than your best friend. We were always together. We barely spoke to other people. I figured if I gave it to causes you cared about, it might help you like me back or something. I can’t explain it any other way, even though it seems feeble now. I was going to tell you on your birthday.”
“You thought you were in love with me?” Vex tucks an escaped piece of hair behind my ear. “Why did you never say anything?”
Anger rises a little. “Because you were a stupid boy. Telling me all about how you were thinking of taking Angelique Newman to prom. Not once did you look at me or say anything to suggest you felt the same. I did my makeup once to come see you, and you told me that my attempts at a smokey eye made me look like I’d been punched in the face.” And now, I’m really mad because I sound like a prepubescent teen being dramatic. It prickles over my skin. “Not that it matters.”
Vex does that thing again. The one where he slides his hand around the back of my neck and grips me firmly, holding me in place. “It’s the story of us, Calista. Of course it fucking matters.”
