Page 40 of The Deals We Make
I step into the house with her and close the door. “What’s up?”
She glances at the closed door. “Why did you invite all those men to Mom’s house?” she asks.
“Because you said you wanted to get most of this cleaned out before the full cleaning crew comes through. Manpower helps.”
“I don’t want them all in here,” she says.
“Why? They’re my friends. They’re here to do us a favor.”
“They’re here to do you a favor. I didn’t ask for them to be here. I didn’t…”
“Hey, Cal.” When I put my hand on her shoulder, I can feel her shake. “Babe.”
She slaps my hand away but is biting down on her lip. “I can’t have them all in here. I can’t have?—”
I tug her into my arms. I don’t know what the fuck is going on, but this isn’t Calista. Something has her…terrified.
“Calista, you’re scaring me,” I admit.
Her fingers dig into my cut as she buries her forehead against my chest. She breathes deeply. I feel the shaking fade. I hear her breath slow. And I try to ignore how fucking good she feels pressed against my body.
Slowly, she unfurls from her position, tosses her hair back over her shoulder, takes a final deep breath. “Don’t let them in the house.”
“You’re being ungrateful, Calista. They came to help.”
“I said don’t let them in the house.”
I don’t know what the fuck is going on, but I’m going to drop it.
For now.
“You okay if just me and Switch come in? He was here yesterday. I’ll pass shit to you. You pass to Switch in the living room or Halo outside the door on the porch. You can triage what we’re keeping.”
She glances towards the living room as sweat forms on her upper lip and brow. “Fine.”
I place a palm on her cheek. Her skin is so fucking soft, I want to stroke it. “Babe, can you tell me what the hell just happened? It’s obviously something big.”
She looks up at me, and it’s written all over her face just how torn she is. “I wish I could.”
The words are whispered.
“I got you, Cal. I promise. All the shit, all the water under the bridge, all the hate you carry in your heart and the hurt I carry in mine—none of it matters. If you were at risk, I’d keep you safe. I promise.”
“But you didn’t,” she says.
“Knock, knock,” Switch says, stepping into the hallway. “The porch is cleared. You want to tell us where to start next?”
“The stairs,” Calista says. “I’ll show you. Just—” She turns to face me. “I think too many people in the house would overwhelm Mom. Maybe just the two of you?”
There’s so much more I want to say.
Her words are like a barb to my heart. How can she think I didn’t keep her safe when I threw away my own future to make sure she had one? I had to put all the dreams I had of travel and a different kind of life on hold to fulfill an obligation to the Iron Outlaws.
With the hurt sitting heavy in my chest, I head to the door and see the guys chatting and smoking cigarettes.
“Shit, I want one of those,” Switch says behind me.
“You forget I saw your ‘stop smoking’ chart when I helped you move the bed last week. You and I both know you want what’s on that fucking chart more than you want a cancer stick.”
