Page 104 of The Deals We Make
And everyone laughs as the ribbing and betting continues.
I don’t know how I can leave this behind. The camaraderie. The utterly unwavering support. We’re a room full of bikers and old ladies, sitting this out for however long Spark and Iris do.
Minutes turn into hours. Hours turn into a huge food delivery. Someone finds whiskey to wet the baby’s head. Spark pops out twice to update us. The first time freaks us all out when he explains how big the epidural needle is.
The second time, he walks to Saint, his best friend. He hugs him and says something that makes Saint hug him tighter and whisper something back in his ear.
That was six hours ago.
Niro and Cat went and sweet talked some nurses into giving us some blankets. Vi is asleep with her head on Bates’s lap; Halo is asleep in his chair, Ari asleep on his lap. Rae is on a chair, King on the floor between her legs as she massages his shoulders. And I have my arm around Calista as she dozes against me.
The only ones missing are Avery who is sleeping over at a friend’s and Lola who is with a sitter at home.
This is family.
Being there when it matters.
I hate the idea that I might not be here when Bates goes through this with Vi.
“That was a big sigh,” Calista says.
“Just tired.”
She sits up. “Really?”
“Don’t ever want to lie to you, so let’s just say we need to talk, but now isn’t the time.”
Calista stands. “Come take a walk with me.”
I glance to Switch. “Call me if there’s news, yeah?”
He nods, and I grab our coats from the chair before I take Calista’s hand and lead her out of the waiting area.
Neither of us says anything until we step outside into a small hospital courtyard garden. I hold her thick coat while she slips her arms into it, then put on my own.
“How come you were out with the girls today?”
“Rae. She stopped by and gave me some things to think about.”
I pull her close to me as her cheeks turn pink in the cold. “Yeah, what was that?”
She looks up at me. “You first. You were sighing in there. Why?”
“Truth?”
“Always.”
“King gave me permission to leave the Outlaws. Long story. It means I could follow you to California. But I don’t know how I leave everyone in that room for good. They’ve become my family. And I don’t like the idea of leaving Mom and Dad as they’re getting older and will need me more. Or my siblings and their kids. I can’t reconcile the two pieces of me. The side that is so fucking happy you and I found each other. And the side that will feel like a piece of my heart got ripped out and left behind.”
Calista places her hand over my heart. “You’d leave the Outlaws for me?” Her voice is soft, slightly in awe that I think so much of her that I’d do that.
“Got me thinking the other night when we were talking about it ending. I don’t want it to end, Calista. You and me.”
Calista steps up onto her toes and kisses me softly. “What kind of partner would I be if I made you leave your heart behind?”
My heart crashes around in my chest. “If the other option is losing you, I’ll do it.”
“You want to know what Rae said to me?”
