My eyes meet Sophia’s. I can see the fear in them. For me. For her. For what’s outside the clubhouse. She stands, but I tip my chin back to the table, encouraging her to sit.
 
 Iris and Briar are standing with her.
 
 Bates nudges me back to my chair. “Sit the fuck down, Switch, before I’m forced to knock you down.”
 
 I shake my head. “Not sure I belong there anymore, Miles.”
 
 The use of his first name seems to have an overwhelming effect on everyone in the room.
 
 “This is bullshit,” Vex says. “No one who has sat at this table for so many years should feel unwelcome at it.”
 
 “It’s not a fucking simple thing, though,” Spark says. “No one is rejecting Switch. But we can’t just invite a war with the fucking Cosa Nostra. They got fucking captains and armies. Their bench depth way exceeds ours.”
 
 King slaps his hand on the table. “Fine. We vote. Do we stand with Switch and Sophia?”
 
 “Easy yes.” Halo nods in my direction, but the word feels so loaded.
 
 “No,” Spark and Bates say at the same time.
 
 “Too much trouble for the club,” Spark says. “Sorry.”
 
 Vex nods. “Yes. We stand for each other over everything, or we don’t stand for anything at all.”
 
 “I know what it means to be on the wrong side of something threatening,” Saint says. “Yes.”
 
 Clutch squeezes King’s shoulder. “Listen. It’s a fight we were already in. We know they’ve been battling Cillian up at thedocks. It’s only a matter of time before they come for the New Jersey side too. Does this up the stakes a bit? Sure. But it’s not like we weren’t on their radar, given they’ve been on ours for months.”
 
 I take a breath. Then another. I stand because I can’t stay seated any longer. Bates moves beside me again. And while I’m not about to storm out of here again, I shrug his hand off me.
 
 Spark sighs. “Valid point. Change of vote. Yes.”
 
 “What Spark said,” Bates says. “Yes.”
 
 Niro throws his arm over Catalina’s shoulder. “We’ve always been a yes.”
 
 She nods. “We have. But I can answer for myself. Yes.”
 
 “Then we go out as one,” King says. “Yes?”
 
 I should be happy. I should feel a sense of relief.
 
 But it feels like the club’s uncertainty, their lack of immediacy in supporting me, just did more damage than my accident ever did.
 
 20
 
 SOPHIA
 
 When I see Bates attempt to stop Theo from leaving a second time, I’m up on my feet and headed to the door before a prospect appears out of nowhere and blocks me. Only, he grabs my arm, knocking me off-balance. I stumble and jar my hip into the corner of the table, which sends pain shooting down my leg before I fall to the floor.
 
 When the door to church opens, Theo sees me on the ground and storms over to me.
 
 “What the hell happened?” he says.
 
 “It was an accident,” the prospect says. “When Bates and Spark stopped you leaving, she tried to get to you.”
 
 Theo cocks his fist by his shoulder, then sends the prospect flying to the ground with a single punch. His head hits the wood floor with a thud.
 
 “You ever touch my fucking wife again, I’ll kill you. Get the fuck out of here.” He turns to me. The speed with which he morphs from feral to caring is staggering. “You okay, Sparrow?”