Page 113 of The Souls We Claim
“I’m sorry this is our start, kitten,” he says, finally.
I look up at him, and he puts the brush down. “What do you mean?”
“I overheard the other old ladies talking about this idea of a meet-cute. The way two people meet and fall in love. Ours wasn’t a meet-cute. It’ll never be funny. We met at your sister’s funeral shortly after I’d buried Dad. There was a meet, but no cute.”
I reach up to his arms and pull him down to me. It’s an awkward upside-down kiss, but it’s also sweet. “I can’t regret it though. Meeting you was the best thing that happened to me.”
Jax walks around the sofa to crouch by my knees. His palms are warm on my thighs. “I’m sure I would have found a way to make you belong to me somehow.”
I straighten my shoulders. “I don’t belong to anyone. I’ve made that mistake once before. I’ve fallen into the trap of believing I had to act and be a certain way to be worthy of love. And I refuse to do it again.”
Jax grins at me.
“What’s so funny about that?” I ask.
“Absolutely nothing. I’m proud of the way you’ve grown since you arrived here.”
I tilt my head, my eyes fixed on him. “What do you mean?”
“Would you ever have spoken to your ex like this?”
I think for a second. “No.”
“Why do you think you can speak to me like this? And that’s not a threat in any way. Honestly, why do you feel brave enough to challenge me?”
I smile softly. “Because I know you won’t hurt me.”
“Too fucking right, I won’t. Are you ready for your own leather though? Because as my old lady, I’d want you to wear a property cut like the others do. Would give me a real sense of pride to see you wearing a ‘Property of Halo’ patch.”
I don’t belong to anyone. I’ve made that mistake once before. I’ve fallen into the trap of believing I had to act and be a certain way to be worthy of love. And I refuse to do it again.
I think over what I just said. Did I really mean it? “I remember how I felt when I first saw Iris and Briar in theirs, and I was envious that someone was willing to step up and love them and claim them. But I guess there’s a difference in words. Maybe it’s semantics. I don’t want to wear one because you won me, because I belong to you. I want to wear one because you love me enough to tell everyone I’m yours. I want to wear one so it feels like I have a shield around me. One that protects me from the rest of the world. One that tells the world I’m proud to love you and build the life we have together.”
Jax strokes my cheek with his knuckle. “You’re the most precious thing I have, Ari. Whatever words express that, I give them to you willingly. Just promise me you’ll spend the rest of your life with me.”
My heart stretches beyond measure. Warmth fills in the space created.
Halo brings my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckles. “I just remembered we were rudely interrupted in the middle of a very important conversation when King arrived.”
I shake my head, even as heat rises in my cheeks. “We were? I don’t recall. I should probably check Lola’s diaper doesn’t need changing.”
We both look at Lola, who is now chewing on the corner of the book with drool flowing over her chin.
“You and I both know that you changed her half an hour ago, and she’s as happy as a lamb right now,” Jax says. “What happened to ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’?”
He lifts from his crouched position and sits next to me on the sofa. He slides his hand around the back of my neck and squeezes gently. “Where were we in that conversation?”
“I think it was closed. We were finished.”
Jax grins. “No. I think there was some intimation that there were needs I wasn’t meeting. And then some vague gesturing that looked like this.” He mimics my earlier hand waving gesture between us. “Something about dirty talking and domination and intimidation…yeah, that was it. You called meproficient.”
I can’t help but chuckle at the way his nose wrinkles in disgust at the word. “I think I maybe did say proficient.”
He squeezes the back of my neck a little tighter, but it’s not to hurt me, nor is it painful. It’s possessive, and my insides melt like chocolate by the fire. “Okay. So, we’re really going to have to break this one down. First, proficient? If I’m only proficient, we’re doing it wrong, because I want to rock your world with my cock, kitten.”
“Stop,” I warn. “Lola might hear.”
But he doesn’t. “Second, I confirm I do like domination. I’ve been keeping it dialed down and more vanilla given your recent experiences. We’ll grow with our dynamic. If I’m honest, I wanted to fuck you the first time I saw you. But the feelings I have for you started outside the bedroom. Being the person you turned to, the one who comforted you. Making sure youate, remembering you can’t eat pineapple. Helping you navigate leaving Patrick and starting over. I love being that man for you.”
