Page 24 of The Souls We Claim
As my hands shake, I think about Halo’s prescription. “Youare the cunt,” I whisper so Lola can’t hear me.
There’s a warm feeling in my belly when I think about Halo, which I’m doing my best to ignore, but with every step, I feel stronger.
Halo didn’t yell.
He didn’t get mad when the coffee spilled.
He didn’t mention the scorch marks on the last three pancakes that burned while he was talking to me about said coffee spill.
He ate all my food without question.
He kissed the top of my head.
Okay. What can I serve you, Halo?
That sounds good coming from your pretty mouth.
Yeah. I’m definitely going to pretend that didn’t happen.
I slip my phone into my pocket, even as I acknowledge that a man I’ve known less than twenty-four hours is treating me better than my own husband ever did.
“You ready to go for a walk to the store, Lola?” I ask as I strap her into the stroller that cluttered up the hallway.
“Nana?” she says while opening and closing a pair of chunky pink sunglasses.
“Yes, monkey, we’ll get you some more bananas.”
I pause, crouch down in front of her, and my heart drops for the thousandth time that morning.
Mercy is gone.
Gone forever.
And this little girl is the only living part of her left.
At some point, I’m going to want to go to the home she shared with Anthony, Halo’s father, and pack up her things.
“I’m going to look after you, Lola. I don’t know how right now, but I’m going to figure out a way. You and I are going to live a happy, peaceful life, somewhere away from all this…”
I huff. I suppose I should call Halo Jax if I want to separate the man from his club and us from them. ButHalosuits the man. It was the first name he gave me, and it’s the one his friends use.
The walk takes about forty minutes. But the weather is mild, and the sun is shining, and I don’t feel the tight band around my chest that I’m doing something I shouldn’t. It’s liberating to be out on my own without telling Patrick where I am or what I’m doing.
Not that I’m doing anything reckless, after all, a trip to stock up Halo’s fridge on me isn’t such a big deal. I’m utterly gratefulto the sanctuary he’s provided while I find my feet and the opportunity he’s given me to get to know my niece. For the first time in my life, I can see a way out and pathway to healing.
Just as I’m approaching the store, I hear a voice call Lola’s name.
“Hey, Arianne,” the woman says as she approaches me. “Sorry, this must seem really weird. I'm not some random stranger, I promise you.” She offers me her hand. “I’m Gwen, Clutch’s old lady. He mentioned you. I'm so sorry about your sister.”
I still feel a little salty about that, even though Briar and Iris explained the hierarchy to me. “From what I hear, the old ladies of the club don’t have a lot of time for the club girls.”
Gwen at least has the sense to look a little ashamed. “That’s a fair assessment. When I arrived at the club, I had no end of trouble with a couple of the club girls. But that doesn't mean I’m not sad for you that you lost your sister, and it certainly doesn’t mean I’m happy about Mercy.”
I hear sympathy in her voice and decide if I’m going to stay here for Lola, more friends won’t hurt. So, I take her offered hand and shake it. “Pleased to meet you, Gwen. Iris and Briar mentioned you.”
“You’re staying at Halo’s house?” she asks.
“I am, for now.”
