Page 57 of The Loves We Lost
“Bates is my best friend. Stood by me when I did stupid shit. But I met him a year after you and he split up. He’d gone nomadfor a while. Had been on the road for an age, and then he showed up at the clubhouse. You did a number on him, Vi.”
I splutter. “I didn’t do a number on him. We had a life. One that existed before the Iron Outlaws. One that existed before he got a cut. That was the life I thought we were having. Then he bought that damned bike. He bailed on the life we were building.”
Niro raises his palm in the air. “Told you I was going to fuck this up. I just meant your breakup shook him. Butthisis the bit I thought you wouldn’t like. I’ve seen him sleep with every conceivable bit of pussy to get over you.”
“I don’t want to hear this.”
“No? Well, I think you do. Because I’ve never seen a man so messed up over a woman, and I say that as a man whose old lady kidnapped him. That’s how me and Catalina met. You got it in your head thatthislife is dangerous. Well, you know what? Life is. You could get run over tomorrow. Death is an everyday occurrence. You know what isn’t? The kind of relationship the two of you could have. I see the way you two are together. The two of you couldn’t have made such an amazing kid if you weren’t perfect together.”
“Niro,” I say as my tears sting my eyes.
“I’m not finished. He’s not the man you gave up on anymore. He’s grown. Changed. Become a better man. But you are choosing to not see it. If he leaves and goes back to the clubhouse and screws Penny, would that hurt you?”
“I’m not talking about this with you.” I manage to spit the words out, even as the image of him with Penny plays out in my mind. She’s pretty. Younger than me. Doesn’t have the baggage. Bet she fucks like a porn star with the single goal of making Miles feel like a superhero.
“Well, you need to. Because you are letting the best thing that could happen to you leave. And he’s that good of a fucking manthat he’s gonna linger in some kind of weird half-life relationship with you, because he’d rather have that than nothing, and that just makes you selfish.”
Niro shouts the last few words, just as Miles hurries into the kitchen. “What the hell is going on?”
“I’m giving Vi some home truths. Right, Vi?”
“Apologize to her,” Miles says, stepping ever so slightly in front of me.
And then it hits me almost as easily as a hot knife easing through butter. He’s protecting me from his best friend. The idea I would come between them, that Miles would defend me when he knows he and I aren’t ...
“No. He doesn’t have to. He’s not said anything that isn’t true.”
Niro shakes his head. “Apart from the thing about sleeping with Penny. To the best of my knowledge, he hasn’t slept with Penny since he hooked up with you. It was just an example.”
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Miles mutters. “What on earth were you saying to her?”
“I was trying to fucking help like I said I would,” Niro says, his tone exasperated. “This is bullshit, you leaving the two of them here. They should be home with you. And Avery. She needs a mom and a dad who love her and can see her every day. She shouldn’t have to be put in the middle because the two of you can’t get your shit together, you useless fuckers.”
Miles immediately softens, despite the insult, and I don’t understand why. Instead of getting angry, he steps forward and tugs Niro into a solid hug. Not one of those weird backslaps that men do to each other, but an actual hug.
“Hug me back, Colton,” Miles says, and Niro does as Miles says. “Thank you for sticking up for Avery.”
“Fine,” Niro says. He looks straight at me. “Told you there was a high probability I was gonna fuck this up.” And with that he leaves the kitchen.
“What was that?” I ask.
Miles is still watching Niro walk down the hall. “That was Niro showing he loves me and my daughter.”
“What?”
Miles turns to me. “Niro has his own shit that’s not mine to share, but trust me when I say all that was coming from a place of looking out for me and, even more surprisingly, looking out for Avery. Please don’t be mad at him.”
“Who’s Penny?”
Miles looks down at the floor. “You really want an answer to that?”
I sigh and commence stirring the pasta sauce. “I don’t know. Do I?”
“I’m a guy. I’ve slept with women since you and I split. Just like I’m sure you’ve slept with other guys since we split, yeah?”
I don’t answer. I don’t know whether to be truthful. What does lying gain me? But how could I admit I let him go and never found anyone who came close to replacing him?
Miles puts his hands on my shoulders and turns me to face him. “Right?” My answer must be written on my face. “Viola. You’ve slept with other people since the two of us, right?”
