Page 44 of The Loves We Lost
And eating wasn’t the only thing we did.
“Stop,” I say, but I’m not immune to the idea of what he’s offering.
“I want to talk to the two of you, before I go out tonight. I want to tell ...” He says no more but tips his head in the direction of Avery, who is utterly absorbed in her mermaids.
My heart stutters.
Her whole world is going to change in a heartbeat. Only once has she ever asked about her dad. And I told her a sanitized version of us both loving her but not loving each other, and that he worked in a nebulous placed calledawaythat was too far to come back.
But it’s fair for her to know the truth.
“Don’t you want a paternity test?” I ask. I know it’s stalling, but maybe if he asked for one, it would be a few more days before we’d have to tell her and disrupt her world.
He shakes his head. “I trust you. And have you seen her?” His face softens. “She’s mine, Vi. Ours. The sum of us.”
“Okay,” I say.
“Let’s tell her in my room.”
“Is there any reason we can’t go to your house and do it? I feel like we’ve been cooped up in here.”
Miles sighs. “With the shit going on, I figured we’d be safer here. And I’m going out tonight on some club business. So I don’t want to leave you unprotected when we don’t know why those assholes were looking for me.”
“But we went to the beach yesterday.”
“We did. But we were protected by five men. Can’t do that tonight. I’d hate for those two strangers to come to my house without me there to look after you. This place is secure.”
“I want to go home, Miles.” I sigh. “This ...” I swirl my finger around the clubhouse kitchen. “This isn’t for me.”
“Just stay here tonight. I’ll see if some of the other old ladies can come over to meet you, so you aren’t on your own. We’ll figure something else out in the morning, yeah?”
“Fine. I guess we should go to your room. I just wish there was a nicer setting for this.”
Miles types a quick message, then looks out the window. “We could tell her out the back of the lot. It’s not the prettiest, but it’s outside, and it’s still light. At least there are trees.”
“Better,” I say, acknowledging the fact he’s trying.
“Hey, Avery. You want to come outside with me and your momma for a little while?”
Avery continues to color.
“Sweetheart,” Miles says, trying again. “Avery?”
“She’s got single-minded focus. She’s not going to pay attention to you because she doesn’t want to stop what she’s doing.”
Miles steps around to our daughter and leans on the tabletop right next to her. “Boo,” he whispers.
“You didn’t scare me, silly,” she says and picks up a green pencil.
I don’t hear what he says next, but they both look up at me at the exact same time, with the exact same expression on their faces. The air is squeezed out of my chest at the sight of them.
So alike.
It’s almost unbearable.
Then they turn to each other and chuckle with matching dimples.
Miles takes Avery’s hand, and as he walks by me, he reaches for mine. And because I feel so adrift in this moment, I take it.
