Page 108 of The Loves We Lost
Now it’s my turn to be speechless. “I’m sorry though. This should have been a decision we made together. And again, I took a right away from you. I need to do a test. Figure out if I’m actually pregnant or not. Will you be happy if I am?”
“Fucking ecstatic.” Miles peppers my stomach in kisses. “Don’t need to apologize. You’re giving me what I want. But it just doubly means you’re keeping my cut, because us doing this together is not negotiable. I’m not missing this one, yeah?”
I nod, tears stinging my eyes as I process the joy that’s followed all theholy shitI was feeling a minute ago. “That’s how I ended up thinking about how long it was since my last period. I was thinking about how I’d rather have you in our lives with some danger than live the rest of my life without you in it. Then I did the math that the signing was more than twenty-eight days ago.”
Miles jumps out of bed and starts grabbing clothes and pulling them on.
“What are you doing?” I ask as he pulls on his jeans without underwear and tugs the T-shirt he wore yesterday over his head.
“One second,” he says, running into the kitchen. I hear the tap turn on and off; then he returns with a glass of water. “Be a good girl and drink this. I’m gonna drive into town and get some pregnancy tests.”
“You take it on a full morning bladder. More water isn’t required.”
“Didn’t know. I’ll go get ’em now then. Hold it until I get back, yeah?” He kisses the top of my head. “You feeling okay, buttercup?”
“Stunned, but yeah. I think I’m okay.”
“Guess my swimmers have got game, huh?” Miles bites his lower lip to contain his smile. “Knocked you up with Avery while we were using contraception, which is like ninety-nine percent effective. And then knocked you up again first time trying.”
“Either that or we are really unlucky.”
Miles puts the glass on the table, pushes me gently back down onto the bed, and then kisses me in the slow, drugging way guaranteed to make me fall into him. His hand slides downuntil it’s resting on my stomach, where he rubs circles. “Fucking blessed, buttercup. Not unlucky. And now I wanna fuck you, so I’m going to the store now. I’ll make sure to let the prospects know to move a little closer to the house to keep a watch on you both.”
I don’t miss the use of the word both. That he’s leaving me and the possible baby behind.
He jumps up from the bed and leaves the bedroom. But before I hear the cabin door slam, I hear him yell, “I’m gonna be a dad again.” It’s followed by a loud whoop.
I’ve been awake less than twenty minutes, and in that time, I’ve realized I’m probably going to have another child. A to do list starts to grow in my mind. I need to let Miles know that all Avery’s baby things were lovingly packed away in the attic in the hope they might be needed again one day. We need to finish the cleanup of my house, and move the rest of my things to New Jersey. There’s no way I’m going back to that house to live. And we might need the money tied up in it now.
I’m going to be a mom again. I get to experience pregnancy with Miles by my side. I’m older. Wiser. More ready for the adjustments this time around.
And, god, I love Miles, Avery, and the idea of this baby with my whole heart.
Butterflies don’t even begin to describe how my tummy feels. I should have told Miles to grab crackers while he’s out.
It takes him about thirty minutes to return, and when he does, Miles is whistling. “Let’s go do this, buttercup.” He waves three test kits in my direction.
“We only need one.”
“The woman at the pharmacy started telling me about lines appearing and sometimes being faded and that depending on how early it is, it might be too early. So I thought you could just pee on all three of them and we could do best of three.”
I laugh. “If my math is correct, it’s not too early. I think I’m about two weeks late.”
Miles tugs me to my feet and leads me to the bathroom. He places the tests down on the counter, then slides his arms around me as we both face the mirror. “I love you,” he says.
His hands slide over my flat stomach. Well, flat-ish stomach. I haven’t had abs since high school, but Miles doesn’t seem to mind. “You know, I might not be pregnant,” I say to add some caution to his ebullient mood.
“I know,” he says as he presses his lips up the side of my neck. “But what I heard from you is that you want a sibling for Avery. And that you want me to be the father. Do I hope you’re pregnant? You bet your ass I do. But if you’re not? Well, you just gave me permission to breed the fuck out of you.”
I cough at the word. “That word.Breed,” I say. “It sounds crass. Like I’m inThe Handmaid’s Taleor something and you need to knock me up.”
Miles turns me around so I face him, and he kisses me again. “I do need to knock you up.” He steps closer, his cock lining up against me as it hardens. “We’re living my dream. Just talking about it makes me want to lift you up onto the counter and pump you full of more of my cum. Leave my dick in you, plugging it all in there so it can do its thing. But first, we need to see if my previous attempts have taken.”
“I’m nervous and excited and trying to hold on to the fact I might be disappointed.”
Miles wraps me in his arms. “Same, babe.”
We stand for a moment. I’ve only just gotten used to the idea of us as a trio. Now there could be a fourth. Miles kisses the top of my head. “Let’s do this.”
