Page 69 of The Vows We Keep
Even the wordforeverdoesn’t make me freak out.
“Yes, Colton. I do.”
Niro slides his arms around my waist and pulls me to him. When his lips meet mine, they’re tender. A soft brush, light pressure, his tongue seeking mine. It’s unhurried, sweet. Even if he doesn’t feel emotions in the same way I do, his body is showing me he recognizes them. I kiss him back, pouring in every ounce of reassurance I can muster.
“I’m falling in love with the man you are, Niro.”
“I have to go,” Niro says suddenly.
“What? No. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
He tugs a key off his key chain and hands it to me. “The house alarm code is one-nine-three-nine. If you forget, it’s the year World War II started. I’ll be back as soon as I can. Just enter the number, then hit the button with a key sign on it next to the keypad. I’ll get dinner. Go.”
“Are you mad?” I ask. “I just told you I’m falling in love with you, and you run off.”
“The exact opposite. You’ll see. It’s a good thing. I’ll tell you when I get back.”
I look down at the house key in my hand and wonder what the hell just happened, and I’m still standing there when his bike roars off down the road.
22
NIRO
Istomp up the steps to my president’s door and knock on it firmly.
When nobody answers, I knock again.
“What the fuck?” I hear from inside before the door pulls open. “You better have a good fucking—Niro.” King looks left and right down the street as if looking for trouble. He has a gun in his hand and no clothes on beyond a pair of plaid pajama pants. His hair is a mess as if ...
“Shit. Were you in bed?”
He tugs a hand through his hair. “Yeah. Because it’s midnight and I’m home with Rae. What the hell is going on?”
“I need to speak with Rae. I know you said you’d ask her, but I really got to fucking speak to her.”
King places the gun on a shelf in the hallway. “You aren’t speaking to her now. She’s in bed.”
“She’s not,” Rae says, appearing from the staircase. She’s tugging a bathrobe around her and tying it.
“I told you to stay upstairs,” King says, pulling her beneath his arm.
“It’s so cute how you try to tell me what to do. What do you need, Niro?” she says before yawning.
King kisses the top of her head. “He doesn’t need anything right this minute.”
Fuck it. I know this is my chance, so I look straight at Rae. “I have ASPD and comorbidity with ADHD, and I need to manage them so I can be a better man for Catalina.”
King’s eyes open so wide I think they might reach the top of his hairline, but I keep going. I’m not usually so blunt about my diagnoses, but for once, I don’t think about the stigma I always feel. Instead, I plough on.
“I mean. I’ve had them all my life. But I’ve never really wanted to get treatment as an adult because, well, it was brutal when I was a kid. Therapy and shit cost too much money, and mom worked so hard to afford it for me, but she needed me fixed quickly so she didn’t have to hold down two jobs. But there isn’t a fast fix. So I always felt shit about not being able to get fixed fast enough—fuck, how many times am I going to say fix? Or fixed? Anyway, it left me feeling permanently broken. ADHD can be a superpower or a grind. Honestly, I’m never entirely sure when it’s my ASPD or when I’m just being an asshole. Like, those diagnoses can help me at times. But now they don’t. I want to feel things and not be such a ... ”
“Dick,” King supplies.
“Uther,” Rae admonishes.
“He’s right.” I shrug. “It’s true. I can be. Needling people brings its own special thrill. I was a dick to you too, and I’m sorry. Can you help me? Please.”
There’s a weird silence. It amplifies in my head into a whooshing.
