Page 91 of The Vows We Keep
“Fucking awful,” Clutch says. He’s serious for a heartbeat, and then we both start to laugh.
“Does she have to prospect?” Vex asks. “To become whatever we call this?”
King rubs his hand across his chin. “No, but for anyone in the future to join this classification, their contribution to the club and the life has to be proven and vouched for. You could say she’s prospected for Los Reyes her entire life. And she killed Henley.”
There are a few gasps around the table, and I realize that neither Bates, King, nor I had told anyone else. “Yeah. She did. After pretending her car had broken down to get into his house. She’s cold-blooded.”
“And she stayed and protected the women when Howard and Clive abandoned them last night,” Spark adds. “I woke up this morning terrified that it would set back Iris’s recovery from being kidnapped, but it seems to have strengthened her resolve that she’s more capable than she gives herself credit for. So in a roundabout way, Cat’s already helped me and the club. That makes me more amenable to figuring this out for her.”
“Next you’ll be saying these new members can come to church and get a vote,” Wrinkle says, folding his arms across his chest.
“Why shouldn’t they?” Halo asks. “If they are running club business.”
King shrugs. “President’s choice. If it’s purely to do with the brotherhood, then church will be just brothers, if it’s to do with the club and club business more broadly, why not?”
“Your dad would be ashamed,” Wrinkle sneers.
“Kinda like how I feel about you right now,” Halo says and folds his arms too.
I lean forward and respond to Halo’s dad. “Says the guy who knocked up a club girl at your age. You’re fucking joke, Wrinkle.”
“Steady,” King says, and I know he means me.Shit. I want to give them every reason to vote yes for this, and yet I’m getting up in Wrinkle’s face. I hate not being able to control my instinctive responses at times like this when they risk fucking everything up.
“I need to backtrack to this being about Niro and Catalina for a second,” Bates says. “I think we owe it to Niro to make this work. Even if this was a one-of-a-kind set of colors. For as much as Colton has been a dick at times, we’ve all known why. We’ve used him when it suits us, we give him the most morally bankrupt work the club has to do. His death toll is likely higher than anyone else in the club. We’ve ... ” He turns to look at me. “You okay if I say your diagnoses?”
“If you think it’ll help, use whatever the fuck you want.” I’d lie naked on the table in front of them all while they stabbed pins in me if I thought it would make this all happen for Cat.
Bates nods and squeezes my shoulder. “We’ve used his anti-social personality disorder to get him to clean up our shit. You might not have known its name, but you know how it presents. Impulse, lack of remorse. The club has benefited from it many times over. Psychologists group ASPD as part of Cluster B personalities because they like to prey on others’ weaknesses.”
“How do you know this shit?” Saint asks.
Bates tips his head my way. “He’s the closest thing I have to a brother. Why wouldn’t I research it to help him? The best bit about Catalina? She doesn’t have any weaknesses ... at least, none that Niro can prey on. She’s his equal, it’s a balanced relationship. And she seems to accept him exactly as he is—which, for the record, we should too. We owe it to him to make this work.”
My mouth goes dry as I try to swallow. I hate all this focus on me. My knee bounces up and down. I stand and walk to the window facing out to the bar. I need a drink. Which reminds me I haven’t collected the receipts for all the alcohol. And the dishwasher needs replacing at home. I wonder if I should get a new one.
Bates stands. I see his reflection in the window, then he moves closer and shoulder checks me. “Sorry,” he says. “We’ve taken advantage of you.”
King stands too. He moves to my other side. “Bates is right. We have used you against yourself. I’m sorry too.”
“Fuck off,” I say, before I can stop myself.
“There he is,” Clutch says with a laugh.
I shake my head. “You’re all assholes.”
“Maybe,” Bates says and sit again. King does the same. And I see everyone waiting for me to sit back down.
I think about something Rae said. About intimacy between men being important. I thought she meant sex and told her there was no way I was fucking King. She didn’t laugh but explained how vulnerability isn’t a bad thing.
“I find it hard to accept that kinda shit,” I admit.
“Get over it,” Halo says pragmatically.
“Helpful,” I reply.
Clutch places his elbows on the desk. “How about this?Crew, as a title on a top rocker. Bottom rocker saysIron Outlaws, New Jersey, like a brother’s cut. Criteria involves more than five years’ involvement in the motorcycle club world and at least one recorded kill on behalf of the club. They start on a quarter of a share of the monthly profits. President’s discretion to increase the share every year to seventy-five percent. They pay a similar percent in dues.”
I do the math. I made about four hundred thousand through the club last year. A quarter of a share puts Cat at about one hundred. “It’s a low ball. She should get paid per job then too. If it’s something specific. She’s good at espionage and covert assassination. If we ever use her in that specific capacity, for something only she can do, we should pay her.”
