Page 73 of The Vows We Keep
“You always feel so good,” Niro says as his lips drag a trail of kisses along my jaw to the back of my ear.
“It might be hard to make me feel good tonight,” I tell him honestly.
He lifts himself and kneels between my legs. “Want me to try?” He kneads my thighs gently, more of a massage than anything sexual.
“Where did you go, Niro?”
He sighs. “I want to manage my ADHD and ASPD better. I went to speak with someone who can help with that. I have an appointment every Wednesday morning now and for the foreseeable future, unless I’m out on a run. It’s going to take a while, but I’m gonna work on it.”
In truth, I figured that was what his leaving in a rush was about. “How do you feel about that?”
Niro smiles softly; it’s a peaceful one. “I feel like it was time. Now back to my question. You want me to try to make you feel better? Or do you want me to just carry you upstairs and tuck you into bed? Because I’m not a total dick. Not gonna make a move on you when you’re grieving.”
It’s poor form to think of an ex-lover when another man is kneeling between your legs, but I can’t help but think about the day I returned to Felipe after killing Ilya Volkov. I didn’t want to have sex with him, but I let him coerce me into it. I capitulated to keep the peace. All because Felipe’s ego needed to reclaim me and prove his future old lady would do anything for the club.
“I think I need the opposite of kindness, Niro. I have this contained ball of fire in my gut that I’m scared of letting go of in case it decimates everything in reach, including the two of us. You say you want the me who is clawing her way through my chest, but I’m scared of who she is.”
Niro runs his hands up my thighs until his thumbs stroke the seam of my leggings. “What happens if you let it go?”
I grip his wrists. “I don’t know. I cry. I fight back. I get angry.”
“So, fight me,” Niro says, climbing off the sofa.
“What? No.”
He grabs the low coffee table and moves it over to the wall. He shoves the two leather armchairs out of the way too, until the center of the room is clear. Grabbing the back of his Henley, he tugs it over his head and throws it to the ground, then opens his arms wide. “I mean it, Cat. You think I can’t defend myself against you trying to take me down?”
“It’s not about whether you could or couldn’t. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Are you hurting, babe?
I move to the edge of the sofa. “You know I am, but—”
“Then let me help you. Share your hurt with me. Physically. Transfer it to me and let me carry it for you.”
As tempting as it is to stand up and fight him, I can’t. “I won’t hurt you on purpose, I—”
Before I can finish the sentence, Niro grabs my ankles and tugs me hard, so I fall off the sofa and land on my ass.
“What the hell, Niro?”
He stands over me. “Fight me, Cat. And saysodiumif you want me stop. Seems appropriate seeing you tried to knock me out with it.”
“I’m not going to—”
This time, he grabs my feet and flips me onto my stomach before dropping to his knees on either side of my hips. His lips graze my ear before he bites down firmly on the soft lobe. His teeth clash with my piercings. “Fight. Me.”
My heart rate spikes, and my limbs start to shake with adrenaline. I try to wiggle my hips to free myself, to get out of this situation before I do something reckless. But Niro grabs my wrists in his hand and pins them over my head.
“You can do better than that, cariño. Do it, Cat. Give me the part of you that wants to fight me right now, just to prove you can, because it turns you on. Give her to me, Cat, because I’m rock hard at the thought of winning and fucking you as a reward.”
He rolls his cock between the cheeks of my ass, and even though we’re separated by denim and my leggings, I know he isn’t lying. He’s aroused, and if I’m truthful, so am I.
When he nimbly jumps to his feet, I assess his speed. He’s quick. Very quick for a man of his size. As I roll over to look up at him, he reaches for my hands and tugs me to my feet. When our mouths meet, the kiss is hungry. His tongue seeks mine. And just as I sink into it, Niro shoves me away, firmly, such that I lose my balance and topple back onto the sofa.
“Niro,” I gasp.
He bites down on his lower lip as his eyes slowly glance down my body and back to my face. “I can do this all night until you fight me.”
