Page 41 of The Vows We Keep
We had a shit night’s sleep. Me, tied to that stupid chair, half out of my mind on those drugs. And her, grabbing a few hours while Neva kept watch.
“You won’t think straight or be clear and alert. Come with me.” I take her hand and only notice her resistance when I’ve dragged her halfway across the room.
“Where are we going?”
I pause and cup her cheek. For the first time, I notice the dark shadows beneath her eyes. “You need some sleep.”
“I’m fine. I’ll catch up when I get back.” But even as she says the words, she leans into my palm. I’m pretty certain it’s not a conscious gesture.
“Well, I’m tired, and the guys won’t speak to you without me there to run interference. Which means if you want answers, you’ll come take a nap with me.”
Catalina shakes her head. “I don’t have time to—”
“You don’t get a say. Come on.”
Maybe she sees the determination in my eyes, but she capitulates and lets me lead her to my room. I know what it feels like to be exhausted. I think of it as being on a tilt. In poker, when you play a good hand and then someone gets lucky on the river to make a winning hand, it’s frustrating as fuck. If you don’t manage that energy, the next hand you get makes you rage and go all in. Not because you have the best hand, but because you want to teach the world a lesson.
That’s when my ASPD is at its loudest.
And it has a high comorbidity with ADHD. Sometimes I have two simple tasks to do, but seven hours and sixteen half-started things later, I still haven’t gotten to the first two tasks, and I’m mad as fuck I didn’t get them done. Yet I somehow feel like I couldn’t have done anything differently. The energy it takes to balance all that, all day, wears me out.
When we get to my room, I push the door open and see the evidence of my life, even though I attempted to clean up my space.
Thankfully, the sheets are clean.
“You think I’ll take a nap like a child?” Catalina asks.
“No. I think we’re going to acknowledge we’re both sleep deprived and do the sensible thing, so our brains can function better this afternoon.”
She glances over her shoulder at me. “What if I don’t want to?”
I shrug. “Then my helping you stops, and you can take your bike and catch up to Neva.” I wonder why I said that. I don’t really mean it.
Catalina runs her tongue over her lower lip. “That’s blackmail.”
I shrug. “More like a deal.”
“A deal is more of a negotiation. You low ball, I come back with a counteroffer.”
Reaching for the hem of her hoodie, I step closer. “My only counteroffer is I won’t fuck you again yet. Much as I want to, I’m serious about the sleep part. Do I need to cuff you to the bed, or are you going to stay where I put you?”
There’s a hitch in her breath before she sighs. “Fine. And no to the cuffs.” She looks up at me from beneath long eyelashes. “You cuff me and we’re definitely fucking.”
I can’t help but grin. “God loves a dirty girl.”
“God doesn’t exist. Nothing dirty about knowing what you love in bed.” She glances down at her chest. “And nothing about me saysgirl. I’m a woman.”
I kiss her lips. “You can protest all you want, but you’ll be my dirty girl if I want you to be.”
“Stop talking, Niro.” She steps away from me. “I’ll undress myself.”
I think back to what Bates said in the kitchen about needing help. And I realize Cat and I are like two peas from the same pod. Neither of us likes help. She let me fuck her, but then she stepped away to dress herself. And she’s doing it again now. Undressing herself so she can get into bed on her own terms.
I’d do the same thing.
So I let her. As tempting as it is to run my hands up her skin beneath that T-shirt she’s wearing. I let her decide when she’s naked enough, which appears to be removing her bra through the T-shirt armholes and leaving her panties on. Her olive-toned legs are long. Well defined and muscular.
Guess that’s how she got enough force to chamber a hook kick to nail Clutch.
