Page 85 of The Bonds We Break
I sure as fuck can’t explain why the corners of my eyes burn with tears. Except this is the closest thing to making love I’ve ever done.
“Uther?” Rae asks, and I silence her by pressing my lips to hers, as much to stop her from asking questions as it is to stop me from blurting out truths that will do neither of us any good.
I swirl my tongue around her mouth, hoping she can taste the wine blended with the taste of her.
Every stroke into her ties me to her more tightly than is healthy for either one of us. I hope she can feel that in this moment, I’m giving her my heart—even though I suddenly understand and accept I’ll have to leave here without it eventually.
With my palms on the table, I lift up a little so I can look at her, so I can memorize the moment I realized I was hers in a way I’ve never been anyone else’s.
The woman who wanted absolutely nothing from me now has every single thing I can give.
My pace never increases. It’s a painfully exquisite build as I look into her eyes.
“Uther,” she whispers as her mouth opens, as her body clenches around mine.
All it takes is the feel of her squeezing around me to slide into my own orgasm—one so deep and meaningful, I can’t put words to it.
It’s her, and me, and nothing else.
I drop my head to her shoulder as I ride out the intensity of it.
Rae turns her lips to the side of my head. “I think I might like wine now.”
I chuckle, even as my heart grows three sizes. “Me too.”
I lift myself to look at her. For a moment, I see the flicker of a future for the two of us. I see us happy, like this. Wrapped in each other. I see her on my bike. In my bed. By my side.
I can even see her in the clubhouse. Where I forgive Saint just to make her happy.
What I can’t see is Rae immersed in the risks of club life, satisfied with being a president’s old lady. Someone like her doesn’t deserve the grind of it. She’s come from that already. Escaped it once. I can’t do that to her again, no matter how damn perfect she is.
Gently, I ease out of her and miss the warmth and connection immediately. She lets me help her up so she can sit on the edge of the table, and I grab a handful of tissues before passing them to her.
“Are you okay?” she asks. And there she goes, sensing my mood.
I force myself to smile. “You just made my morning perfect.”
“What do we do with the rest of that?” She tips her head toward the bottle.
“We drink it this afternoon. Maybe you can suck it off my dick.”
Rae chuckles. “Sounds like a plan. Give me two minutes to clean up, and I’ll start brunch.”
I watch her ass as she disappears from the kitchen. Still naked, I run both hands over my face as I wonder what the hell I’m going to do.
I’ve fallen in love with the one woman I should have never brought into my world. She’s seen enough violence to last a lifetime. To be the old lady of a president, she’ll need to be armed and unafraid to use it.
She has scars on her wrists where she cut herself to deal with pain of what she went through.
Fuck.
I can’t do it to her.
And that’s when it hits me and I decide. I need to leave her now, so she can continue to enjoy her own life, even if it kills me to not have her in mine.
We spend the afternoon together in this little slice of heaven. Christmas tree stuff, which I can see us doing as a family. Her, pregnant, her swollen tummy filled with my kid. A toddler running around our feet.
We crash on the sofa for a nap, feeling safe in each other’s arms. We cook dinner together again, where we laugh about everything and nothing.
