Page 23 of The Bonds We Break
“You cleaned?”
“No. I used coping mechanisms to deal with the worry and stress I felt at not being able to communicate with clients who need me. It made me feel exceptionally anxious that I was not available for them, and I am sure my not showing up in the professional way they are used to was troubling for them too.”
King steps close to me. There’s the faint trace of whiskey on his breath, but his eyes are clear. I know the difference between a drunk man and a sober one. “So, you cleaned?”
His cheeks are flushed from the cold, his eyes bright. I don’t know what it says about me that I’m glad to see him.
“I used my nervous energy in a productive manner.”
His thumb and forefinger grip my chin. “... to clean.”
I want to look away, but there is something in his touch that makes my clit light up like a firework. His hold on me is firm, his gaze intense. “We need fruits and vegetables.” But even I can hear the hoarseness in my voice.
King’s eyes narrow on mine. “Is that all you need?” His tone is gruff. As if like me, he just remembered what we did in this place yesterday evening.
“I—”
I’m cut off by the loud ringing of his phone. Without taking his eyes off me, he grabs it from the back pocket of his jeans. “King,” he says as he answers it, then steps out of my orbit.
Quietly, I let out a long breath.
I watch as he paces. “When? Did you call the lawyer?”
There’s a pause.
“Looks like we’re going to need the money you dropped then, yeah?” Another pause. “Yeah. Well fuck you too, Clutch. I knew this was going to happen.”
He hangs up. King is facing the fire, away from me. He tugs a hand through his head. “Go get on the bed, Rae.”
“Not until you agree to get some more nutrition up here.”
When he turns, his face is like thunder. His dark eyebrows furrow. “In the last hour, Niro and Track, two of my men, have been arrested and taken in for questioning because of your fucking brother. So get on that fucking bed, strip naked, and be grateful I’m going to try and calm the fuck down before I join you.”
I want to point out that they weren’t arrested because of Ryker. They were arrested because they did something illegal and got caught. That’s on them. Ryker is just the vehicle used to prevent them from getting away with it. But self-preservation prevents me from saying another word.
I hurry to the bedroom, praying he won’t do more than I can take. Yet in the same breath, I realize I’ve never been talked to by a man like that when it comes to sex, even though I’ve searched for it. For the longest time, I didn’t trust anyone enough to even ask. I hoped that by some kind of mental osmosis they’d know what I need. And when I did finally find the words, only one man felt comfortable trying, but it felt fake and forced.
There’s a piece of me that wants to fight back and refuse to be spoken to like that. King’s voice is dark. Deep. Filled with a need born of anger. And it turns me on.
Should I fear for my life?
Probably.
But there are days when I ache to hurt.
When I was younger, I used to cut myself. It let the noise out of my head and relieved the constant anxiety of living in an abusive home. Working with my own therapist in adulthood, I realized that it isn’t a healthy form of self-expression. But like an alcoholic who needs another drink, occasionally the need to chase that high sometimes grabs me by the throat.
Now I’m a therapist, I have more tools to help myself heal.
I strip naked and rush to the bed.
I just started lying down on top of the sheets when he storms through the door. Gone are the heavy boots and thick, lined leather jacket he arrived in. He unbuckles his belt and drops his jeans and boxer briefs in one sharp move. The muscles in his legs flex as he bends to remove his socks.
And his cock juts out from his body.
“Open your legs and touch yourself.” He grunts, his eyes on me as he yanks open the bedside table drawer and grabs a pack of condoms before pulling one on.
I lick two fingers, depositing as much saliva on them as I can. I have never seemed to get wet enough. I don’t know why. Even if I’m really into the moment. Even now when everything he’s saying and doing feels like a fantasy coming to life.
