Page 94 of The Bonds We Break
“That’s not the why. You don’t do something like that for someone, carry all that risk, just because they wouldn’t do it themselves. Why did you do it?”
“Because it pissed me off that it happened to you.”
I’m sure to the rest of the club, it sounds like we’re talking in riddles. I know for a fact Mom hasn’t told Ryker directly yet because they never speak. The past few years, they’ve corresponded through me. “Something that didn’t happen to you pissed you off enough to go take care of it.”
He runs his hand through his hair and tugs hard. “Fuck off, Rae.”
“You did all that for someone who just drove ten hours to confront you, andfuck off, Raeis the very best you’ve got? If you can’t be honest with me, at least be honest with yourself.”
King grabs my wrist and tugs me roughly to him. “What do you want me to say, Rae? That it broke my fucking heart rubbing my thumbs across those scars on your wrists? That I couldn’t stand the thought that you weren’t living the life you deserve because some prick who doesn’t deserve his fucking life is still breathing air? That there isn’t a fucking thing I wouldn’t do to put that right for you?”
I can feel the rapid speed of his breath, feel the heat of his anger in the words. Torment etches his eyes, and I worry I’m pushing him too far, but if I don’t, I’ll never know for sure.
And I need to know before I tell him that I love him. Tears sting my eyes. “I want you to tell me why you feel all those things for me. That’s what I want you to tell me.”
“I fucking love you, Rae,” he yells. “Isn’t it obvious?” He sucks in air like he’s just run a marathon, then rubs a hand over stubbled jaw.
“Was it really that hard to say?” I whisper.
He doesn’t answer. Simply tugs me to him and kisses me as if there is no one else in this room. I hear cheering and clapping and laughter, but it’s muted. Music is turned back on, but still I’m stuck in King’s grasp as his tongue duels with mine. I feel his cock stiffen against me, and I want him more than my last breath, but not in a room like this.
When I pull back, King’s eyes are ablaze with emotions he probably can’t put a name to. His thumb is rough as he drags it along my lower lip. “Come with me,” he says, then tugs me along behind him.
The sensation of being a little out of control does something to me. That rollercoaster feeling of swirling emotions, the way he’s skirting the edge of control, the knowing that he’s about to fuck me or make love to me. I light up inside, even though I know we need to talk first.
Getting lost in King’s body is easy.
Too easy.
I need to know there’s going to be more before I can get intimate with him again.
We reach a room down a hallway. It’s surprisingly tidy, but I don’t have a thought beyond that as King slams the door behind me and pushes my back against it. “I tried to leave you.” King groans as he kisses the side of my neck. “I’m sorry.”
“Your letter broke my heart,” I admit.
He places his hand on my neck, letting his thumb brush my jawline. I wonder if he knows how much I love it when he stares at me so intently, like I’m the only thing that matters in his world. “Writing it broke mine. But I don’t want to drag you into this. You already escaped one violent world, Rae. I don’t want to be the man who pulls you into another.”
I tug his T-shirt from his jeans and slide my palms over his abs and up to his pecs. “You don’t get to decide the choices I make.”
“My sister pointed that out to me yesterday.”
“She did?”
“Yes. So you want to be here? With me?” The questioning in his voice rocks me. Like he doesn’t feel worthy of me agreeing.
I push him away and walk toward his bed. As I do, I tug my sweater over my head and let it drop to the floor. “I want to make a deal with you.”
King finally smiles. “Ah. Another deal. Aren’t we still in the middle of the first one?”
“Technically, you reneged on that deal by leaving me.”
He tugs his T-shirt over his head, then slips his belt from his jeans. “But I like some elements of the original deal. I like the access to your body twenty-four seven.”
I lift my arms as King reaches for the hem of my T-shirt and tugs it over my head. It takes another couple of seconds for him to remove my bra and suck my nipple into his mouth. He sucks hard, knowing how much I love it.
“You can have it forever, in return for talking things out with me. And not making decisions for me. Why did you really leave? Tell me. In your own words. Not the letter.”
“Can we have make-up sex first?”
