Page 50 of The Bonds We Break
We know what we are, but know not what we may be.
It’s so utterly Rae.
“Saint, I once asked you what you would give to be a member of this club. Do you remember how you answered?” I ask.
He nods. “I said there wasn’t much I wouldn’t do.”
“Good. Because it might be the only thing that makes this hurt a little less.” I stand and take my time walking out of the room. I know eyes are following me without turning back. “Time to go, duchess,” I say to Rae as I approach her.
She points out the window, the late afternoon sun hitting her face. “You should turn the side of the lot over there into a vegetable patch. Grow things like strawberries and tomatoes. I bet any kids of the club would love—”
“Rae. Now.”
My tone with her is short. I can’t slip back into the man I want to be with her. I need to stay where I was two minutes ago, listening to Saint explain why the club means so much to him.
The sinking feeling in my stomach grows into a gaping pit. Killing Skylar for what she did to the club was just. She wronged us. Rae has never done anything wrong, and right now, I feel like I’m taking a corner too fast on my bike. Like the moment your knee drags on the floor, but you know the lean is unrecoverable.
Rae stands, and despite my decision to remain distant with her, I take her hand. I can barely catch my breath. She doesn’t deserve what I’m about to do to her. She doesn’t deserve to hear the things I’m about to say, things designed to wound her and therefore Saint.
And yet, I can’t stop my feet. One step after another.
I lead her to the top of the table and sit back in my chair as Saint grips the edge of the table.
"Rae,” Saint says on a gasp. “What are you ...? Why ...?”
She starts to move toward him, but I reach for her wrist, gripping firmly, to prevent her. Rae gasps and I loosen my grip a little.
Saint’s eyes go wide, and I see the moment it all falls into place for him. “You knew I wouldn’t just let you return without insurance. This is the premium you had to pay. Your sister for your return.”
“Motherfucker.” Saint jumps to his feet.
Halo and Spark grab him as he makes a move for me.
“Let her go,” he shouts as he strains against those holding him. “She has nothing to do with this.”
“She has everything to do with this,” I yell in return.
“Ike,” Rae says over the noise. “Please. I’m okay.” She raises her hand, but it’s when their eyes meet, I see it. The love of a sister for her brother. And I feel it, the love of a brother for his sister. Because if this were Gwen, I’d without question kill the fucker who thought to mess with my twin.
I hate that Rae’s looking atanyonethat way.
“How? Are you sure you’re not hurt?” Saint asks her. The pain etched in his eyes, in the furrow of his brows, the tight lines of his lips feed the beast in my stomach.
I inhale his agony like it’s oxygen.
Rae smiles in that absolutely unruffled way she has about her. I don’t know how she maintains that even keel when their world is exploding right now.
I’m forgetting why I’m doing this. I’m forgetting why I needed to hurt her. But I’m about to do it anyway, like I’m on a path I can’t veer off of, even if I wanted to.
I shift my attention from her, so I don’t lose my reason.
I see confusion on the faces of others at the table. And worse, I see the disappointment on Clutch’s face.
Saint stops fighting Spark and Halo. They release him but stay close to his side. I wonder who they are protecting. Saint or me.
“This is Rae Miller, Saint’s younger sister,” I say.
Bates stands and whoops. Halo stands and shoves him back into his chair so hard, his head snaps back against the headrest.
