Page 90 of The Lies We Tell
I shrug. “Yeah, but most of us don’t understand that our thoughts don’t control us, we can control them by observing and reframing. Like, nervousness and excitement feel very similar in the way they are experienced in the body. Did you know you can talk yourself into believing your nerves are actually excitement?”
“Mind over matter shit. Got it.”
Now I rollmyeyes. “My optimism is I’m alive. I have a plan. You are safe. We’re away from trouble. Tonight, we’ll get to my sister’s. And it will all be good because it’s us.”
She moves closer to me and loops her hand around my bicep. “You’re such a sweet talker. Carry on.”
“What was the third thing?”
I feel the warmth of her breath on my arm as she laughs. “What is this? Kindergarten repeat-after-me?”
“Spaced repetition learning is a well-respected technique. Just tell me the third step before I get the urge to spank your naked ass.”
“What kind of messed-up kindergarten did you go to where your naked ass got spanked?”
I can feel the mood in the truck lighten with every mile. Even if she thinks it’s childish, she’s shaking the fear. “What was the third thing, Briar?”
“Fine. It was comfort in not knowing the ending, just knowing the next steps—which, I know.” She adopts a tone I assume is meant to mimic me. “I’m on my way to my sister’s, we know what we are doing and where we are staying for the next two days. Those are the steps, blah, blah, blah.”
“That’s it,” I say with a grin. “Definitely getting a naked spanked ass for that horrible impression of me.”
She looks up at me and smiles. “Can’t wait for it, Mr. Miller. Although, I’m so not having sex with you the first night in your sister’s house.”
This makes me laugh. I think about that. Sex in other places. I want it. I haven’t really taken her anywhere because I was following her lead on when she wanted to leave the house. “When this is all settled, I’m going to take you to the kind of place where you have to get dressed up to go.”
“A date. Sounds lovely. Still not having sex with you in Rae’s home.”
I slide my hand along her thigh, higher and higher until my pinkie finger rubs along her seam. She grabs my wrist firmly. “Saint,” she warns.
I chuckle and remove my hand. “I’ve got plenty of time to persuade you.”
Time passes. We chat. We laugh. She sings. I try. Briar grabs us subs while I fill up with gas. I take a bite once we’re back on the road. “By the time we get there, I’ll be so tired, I don’t think an armed raid will be able to wake me once I climb into that bed.”
“Too tired for sex?” Briar asks playfully.
“Fuck. That’s it,” I say, sitting up in my seat. “A raid.”
Briar’s eyes are filled with confusion. “What? What raid?”
“The enemy of mine enemy is my friend. Shit. I should have thought of this sooner.”
“Ryker, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I need to call Cillian when we’re at Rae’s.”
“Iris’s uncle?”
I take another bite of food. “Yes. Because he’s the head of an Irish crime family. A friend in the FBI was looking into Cillian. We shared some mutually beneficial intel. But if I could find out what he’s planning to do next, I can call Cillian with it. Offer him the information in exchange for him backing me up with King.”
Briar places her hand on my shoulder as I pull out to pass a truck. “Aren’t we in enough of a mess, without adding another party to it all?”
My mind is racing with possibilities. “There is a fragile alliance between Cillian and King. They’ve been enemies, co-conspirators, and friends. He was there the night we saved Iris. It might work. Cillian is never going to escape the mob life. If the FBI don’t get him this time, they’ll pick him up in the future. It will blow their current case but won’t stop the FBI from trying again. But if the information is useful to Cillian, he’ll owe me. He’ll owe us. And he can mediate when the time comes.”
And perhaps Spark will help too.
It’s the flicker of a plan, not even well constructed.
But it’s all I’ve got.
