Page 100 of The Lies We Tell
Now I just have to keep all the stories in my head straight while I face the ATF.
Funny. He’d hate that. I really love you, B.
Good. Because I’d hate to feel like this about someone who didn’t feel the same. Hurry up and come home.
With a deep breath, I step inside the building to chaos.
People are hurrying around. There’s shouting and frantic movement of individuals.
I head to where I’m meant to meet Weicker, Davis, and other members of the team. “What gives?” I ask as Weicker glances up at me.
“A hit piece on the ATF in a national newspaper. Accusations and shit about this office. Everyone’s on high alert, trying to figure out where the leaks are, how much is true. It’s a shit show. Bit like our op.”
I pull out a chair, put my bag with my laptop in it next to me. “Can I talk to you first? In confidence. Without everyone in here. There’s something that needs to be known, but not by everybody. Not yet at least.”
Weicker looks around the room and nods. I take a deep breath while the room clears. When it’s empty, I take another one. I’m banking on Weicker putting himself in my shoes.
“Rose Whittaker was the girl I rescued that night at the docks. When she ran to me, she was barefoot, wearing a slip of a dress, and was a beaten mess. Her wrists were torn to shreds from being bound. We got her free from the men who held her, and I offered to take her anywhere, the ER, the cops, home. A friend’s place. She said she needed a safe place to stay for a night. And asked if I could help her find clothes and money. That she’d pay me back. And in that moment, she reminded me of my mom and my sister, who would routinely suffer beatings like I did at the hands of my Bible-thumping father. Back then, I just wanted to get them out of there; and when I met Rose I felt the same.”
Weicker places his fingers and thumbs on his temple. “Jesus, Ryker. You’re meant to remain objective.”
Thinking of that night gets my heart racing all over again. What if I hadn’t been there? Would they have killed her? What if someone else had found her and then abused her all over again? I catch the doom spiral and endeavor to stop it.
“I know. But you need to hear this for the next part to make sense. I took her home, patched her up, preserved the slip she was wearing. She wouldn’t go to the police because, like I told you before, she heard the men who took her saying there were police on payroll. Speak to Jensen. We got an identification on one of them. He was with the perpetrators at a local diner one day. Camera footage places them chatting at the same table. Anyway, I advised Rose that she was washing evidence down the drain when she tried to scald her assailant’s touch from her body.”
Weicker curses.
Desperate to do something other than stare at him, I stand and go to the window. The glass is cool to the touch, the world carrying on outside like normal. “She never left. At first it was a function of her not feeling safe enough. And when we eventually returned to her apartment, there were signs someone had been there looking for her. And that was the first day I kissed her.”
I rest against the window ledge as Weicker closes his eyes and tips his head back. “You blew all this for a woman?”
I itch the side of my scruff. It’s soft because I haven’t clipped it in five days, and it grows fast. “Not just one woman. Let me finish before you pass judgment.”
“Fine, continue.” There’s exasperation in his tone.
“I started to investigate. The club placed trackers on Joseph Hosea’s truck. We were able to narrow down homes and locations. Where he was spending his time, that kind of thing.” Up until now, it’s all been the truth. I want to keep the lie down to as few sentences as possible. I struggle to frame them in my head. “When Iris O’Connor went missing, I was already checking out the address of one of the warehouses. I was unaccompanied and on my own time. When I saw Iris, I knew she was in grave danger and didn’t have time to call for help. Her hands were tied and were looped over a hook that hung from the ceiling. She was naked and unconscious.”
“Fuck me,” Weicker says, with disgust at what he’s just heard.
“There were men associated with the Righteous Brotherhood there, but also Russian accents. Faces I didn’t know and haven’t had time to worry about. Guns were drawn. In the confusion, I knew I had one chance to save Iris. Was it reckless? Yes. Did I put my life on the line? Yes. But in a heartbeat, Iris O’Connor became my sister, Rae, and she became Rose. Both women I love. And I simply needed to save her. After that, I got her out of there and called you. I had to reveal myself, and Iris heard me. She told Spark and now I’m made.”
“That’s the report you want to put in?”
I huff a laugh. “No. The one I really want to put in asks questions. Your wife, Weicker? How far would you go to keep her safe? Would you trust the cops? Hell, look outside that door. Would you trust us? We take the moral high ground, let the badge speak for us, but do we really act that way? We do deals with bad guys to get to more bad guys. I love Rose. Gonna fucking marry her at some point. If there is ever a question between the right thing for the op, and the right thing for a woman in distress, whether it be Rose, my sister, Rae, Iris, or any other woman, I’m gonna make the same call over and over. Which is why I’m also resigning as of today.”
Weicker looks up at that. “Sit the fuck down. I’m not accepting your resignation.”
I do as he asks and pull out a chair. Now that I’ve said it, I can’t take it back. I’ve put it out into the universe, and it feels right. “I’m afraid you don’t have a choice. I won’t do this anymore. Not when I’m told to compromise my values. To stay focused on a weapons investigation when I see women in danger. And I realized, as I saw myself in this suit on the way into the building, a desk job isn’t for me either.”
I stop there. For now.
I hear Weicker’s pen hit the table in a steady drumbeat. “You’re one of the best I have.”
“Had. And unfortunately, on this op, the organization never treated me like that. Especially Davis.”
“You could move.”
“I’m going to. But it won’t be within the ATF. I can’t do that to Rose. Let me tell you the pieces I’m not going to tell everyone else who walks in here. She was abducted on her way to her apartment by a man she’d met on a dating app a week earlier. She was held in a concrete room, forced to strip in front of strangers and put on lingerie. She was told she was going to become some cunt’s wife. Aperfectwife. When that man arrived and she tried to protect herself, he beat her so hard that she could barely remain conscious. I’ve seen her claw her way back from a huddled mess on the floor of my shower into a woman willing to go to the police she dreads to make this easier for me, so I could tell you. She also reported it in another state so it couldn’t get covered up. She’s a warrior. A survivor. And I won’t put her through anything like that again. I can’t be disappearing into undercover ops.”
