Page 97 of Full Tilt
It would be so easy to accept his apology and demand he take me back to his place for another night together. That’s not who I am though, and he’ll have to work way harder to earn my time.
“Why did you leave me like that?” I ask. “You said you wanted to prove yourself, and then you went right ahead and cemented everything I’d originally thought when I met you.”
“What were your initial thoughts, Jenna?” he asks.
My ears beat with the adrenaline pumping through my body. “That it’s dangerous to have you in my life. That you’re the kind of guy who takes care of number one and couldn’t give a crap about anyone else. You take what you want and never give out second chances.” I swallow hard. “People who don’t offer second chances scare the shit out of me.”
“Why’s that?” He replies, studying me carefully.
Perhaps he wasn’t expecting me to go down this route, and to be honest, neither was I.
I try to pull away from his grasp, but he keeps me in place, and I don’t fight harder.
“Because people who live their life with a lack of compassion for others generally have little for themselves too. Living life without making mistakes is impossible and a one-way ticket to loneliness.” I motion between us. “For example, if I lived my life without compassion, then I’d never have spoken to you again after the incident with Holt.” I hold up a hand. “Now, giving out third, fourth, and fifth chances? That’s where I start to make afool of myself. And I’m not allowing you to humiliate me again, Tommy.”
His face contorts with anguish. I know a lot of what I said is the truth. He doesn’t need to confirm it.
“You’re right about showing compassion. I’m terrible at it—to others but mainly toward myself. What drove me to leave the other morning was out of fear.”
He blows out a long breath and casts his gaze around the room. With the way we’re standing so close and he’s holding my hip, it’s obvious that we’re involved. Not that I can find it within me to care. This is a safe space with people who aren’t about to spread bullshit and rumors online.
“Keep talking …” I implore, determined for this man to show his cards.
He chews his bottom lip for a second. “I was convinced you were going to tell me you regretted sleeping together again.” A crease forms between his brows. “And I didn’t think I could cope with hearing your rejection again. Not with the way you made me …”
His palm squeezes my hip tighter, and I can see the way he’s shutting down.
My hope for him to open up dissolves.
“Can we get out of here and talk? I’ve got so much I want to say.”
I really want to leave with him, especially since I want to talk as much as he does. This time, it’s fear holding me back. That, and my reluctance to split on one of the biggest nights of my best friend’s life.
I shake my head. “I can’t leave my friend during her pregnancy announcement party. She always has my back, and I can’t let her down again.”
When Tommy’s lips ghost the shell of my ear, my core tightens and tingles.
“And I can’t leave you here and walk away again. What you did for me—the statement you made about Ethan—no one has ever looked out for me like that. But you did, Jenna. Even when I didn’t deserve it and even after my third, fourth, and fifth chance, you still stepped forward. With your version of events, my attorney was able to apply pressure, and Ethan retracted his claims against me. I think you just saved my hockey career and my reputation.” He huffs a sarcastic laugh. “What was left of my reputation.”
“I want another hour to celebrate with Kendra and her family,” I reply, just as Jack approaches from behind Tommy.
Jack holds a bottle of ice-cold beer out in front of him, and initially, I think he’s offering it to me. But then he taps Tommy on the shoulder.
“The rule for tonight’s party stipulates that all guests—apart from my pregnant wife—need to have an alcoholic drink either in their hand or next to them.” He offers the beer to Tommy, who takes it. “You have neither.”
Tommy stares down at the brown bottle in his hand and then back up at his captain, shock painted across his face.
The golden retriever smile I know so well, but has never been directed at his defenseman, spreads across Jack’s face.
“I don’t know all the details because it’s none of my business, but as the captain, I am privy to certain information before the rest of the team is. Jon told me what Ethan Hadley purported wasn’t the truth and that you had good reason to punch that fucker. Word is, it was to protect someone who needed it.”
Jack’s eyes travel to mine, warmth and understanding in them. I guess the hand Tommy has on my hip likely gives away who the vulnerable person he was defending could be.
“The announcement has been done, and the party will start winding down soon. Kend is flat on her back …”
Jack’s eyes grow wide, and I blow out a laugh.
“I mean … when I say flat on her back, I’m referring to exhaustion.” Amusement pulls at his lips. “Although she’ll probably be flat?—”
