Page 74 of Full Tilt
No one forced anyone, Jenna.
Me
That’s not how I recall it.
Asswipe
Okay then, if you’re so keen to get rid of me from your life, don’t reply to this text. If I don’t hear anything back after an hour, I’ll delete your number, and aside from the odd time we see each other after games, you’ll never see or hear from me again. Because that’s what you want, right?
My hairs are still standing on end, but this time, it’s for a very different reason.
I shouldn’t reply; in fact, I should block his contact altogether and do exactly what Holt advised.
But do my brother and friends really know this guy? Or do they only see what he lets people see? I’m not even sure Tommy sees himself as a good person. And a part of me thinks his lastmessage wasn’t sent to play a game with me; rather, it was an honest opportunity for me to get out.
I should reply.
But I can’t.
What would I say to him if I did?
In the end, all I do is stare at our text conversation before I close out the thread altogether and lock the screen.
Motivated by nothing but pure, unadulterated frustration, I toss my phone across the room, and it silently lands on the soft cushions on my sofa.
The sofa he slept on that night he rescued me from Ethan. He could’ve crawled into bed with me and asked for sex, and I would’ve given it to him, no questions asked.
Iwantedto sleep with him again that night. I’d be lying to myself if I said I didn’t. It’s why I asked him to stay and not leave; it’s what I was hoping for when he lay beside me on the bed until I slipped into a deep sleep.
For the next half hour, I busy myself around the apartment, cleaning every surface and tidying away every item of clothing I can find.
It’s not enough to distract my brain or to stop me from clock-watching.
There’s twenty-five minutes remaining in Tommy’s window, and then he’ll step away forever.
I’m halfway to my bedroom with another stack of freshly laundered clothes when my phone starts vibrating between the cushions.
I drop the clothes on the floor and scramble to answer it without checking who is calling. “Hello?!”
“Jesus. You sound like you’re running sprint drills or something,” Kendra replies on a half laugh.
Disappointment passes through me, followed by a sharp pang of guilt for being anything other than happy to hear my best friend’s voice.
She sounds joyful, and she has every right to be too—married to the man of her dreams with their first child due in the new year.
“Sorry,” I reply, walking over to pick up my clothes before dropping them onto my bed and collapsing onto the mattress beside them. “I was doing some housework and didn’t want to miss the call.”
I’m met with silence initially and then another chuckle from my friend.
“Housework?! Okay, we both know you don’t do housework. Have you got your mom coming over to stay?”
While Kendra knows I don’t see my mom often and that my dad is a dick, she doesn’t know the whole picture with my family. Her family is tight, and so is Jack’s. A little like my apparent inability to bag a caring man, my lack of decent relatives also feels like a sob story I’d rather not share.
“How can I help thee?” I ask, changing the subject quickly.
For once, Kendra doesn’t fight me to answer her question as I hear her move about.
“So, Jack and I are thinking of announcing the pregnancy to everyone all at once. I’m still not twelve weeks, but unlike Darcy, I can’t wait another second to share.”
