Page 18 of Full Tilt
I lift a shoulder and continue to sip on my drink. “Okay, I’ll eat yours too then.”
She raises an unimpressed brow. “No way. I have postgame hunger pains. I’m nailing that burger, along with the fries. Just don’t tell anyone.” She sits up in our corner booth, checking to ensure no one we know is around to witness her nutritional treachery.
Life has gotten busy for us both, especially since Kendra met Jack, so it’s been a while since we talked like this, one-on-one. It’s one of the reasons why I’ve always loved an away series—it gives me a chance to share a room and hoard my best friend’s attention.
“What’s the score with … you know …” I drop my eyes to her stomach.
Jack and Kendra started trying for a baby a while back, but with no luck so far. I know she’s getting anxious as more time passes without her getting pregnant. She doesn’t talk much about it and I sense that’s more because the topic is so painful for her, and it breaks my fucking heart to think of her hurting. I think that she can also sense my growing anxiety over still being single, and why I’m the only one in our group who still hasn’t found someone.
I just wish she wouldn’t avoid the subjects with me; I want my friend to know that we can talk about anything. Nothing is off-limits between us. Just because our journeys look very different doesn’t mean our individual path is any easier than the other one’s.
Kendra releases a long, forlorn sigh, and my heart drops a little.
“Talk to me,” I say softly.
She pushes away her water, eyes glued to the table in front of us. “It doesn’t matter how hard we try or how many times we do it, nothing seems to work.”
Finally, when she looks at me, I see the tears threatening to break free, and I reach across and interlace our fingers.
“I feel like I’m letting him down because I know how desperate Jack is to start a family.” Her words are more of a sniffle.
“You’re aware that’s bullshit, right?” My voice is a touch incredulous, although I don’t mean it to sound harsh; the last thing I want is for Kendra to start blaming herself.
She nods slowly. “I know, but it doesn’t make the feelings any easier. Take last weekend—Archer and Darcy brought Emily to see us, and Jack spent the entire afternoon playing with her, whizzing about the place with her on his shoulders. His face was a picture of happiness, and I want to give him a baby so badly.”
“Kendra …” I attempt to soothe.
“And then last night, while you were sleeping, I was lying awake, tracking my ovulation cycle for the hundredth time. Yesterday was my most fertile day of the month, and we were apart, so now I’m feeling guilty because of my career.”
The bullshit spewing from this girl’s mouth is only getting worse.
“Do you really believe that?” I say, rubbing my thumb across the top of her hand.
One tear escapes her lashes, running a track down her cheek. “No, not really. I’m just an expert at beating myself up.”
I chew on the corner of my lip, desperate to find ways to help. Anything I say will feel empty because, realistically, all I can do is remind her I’m here, and she already knows that.
“What about if we break a few more rules beyond ordering a cheeseburger and fries?” I suggest.
She snorts a wet laugh. “What do you mean?”
I click my tongue, dropping my voice a little lower. “So, I know, technically, we shouldn’t start shifting rooms, but what ifI make myself scarce tonight and Jack stays with you? The boys arrive later, don’t they?”
Kendra might try to hide it, but I see the way her face lights up at my proposal. “You know Jack is sharing a room with Tommy, don’t you?”
That’s the last person I’d have expected him to be rooming with.
“And you know I’m not insinuating a room swap. I’ll ask the hotel if they have a vacant room and come up with an excuse for Coach. Like you snore really badly and I can’t get the rest I need for games.”
Her face changes to unamused.
“You do actually snore, Kendra.”
She looks like she wants to argue just as our food is set down in front of us. “I know I do. Jack once recorded it to prove I did.”
Leaning across, I steal a fry from her plate even though I have a ton with my surf ’n’ turf. “That boy loves you immensely, and you need him tonight, not just his dick.”
“Who needs dick?”
