Page 121 of Full Tilt

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Jack

I just vomited at the memory.

Archer

Christ. That was the hottest sex of my life.

Jack

I actually might hate you.

Archer

But your sister doesn’t, does she?

Me

If this is what it’s like, making friends with teammates, then I think I’ll pass.

Sawyer

This is precisely what it’s like.

Archer

So, come on then, Tommy. Tell us, are you with Jenna right now?

Me

Yep. We’re on a date, but it’s cold as fuck, and I want to go home …

With my girlfriend. Obviously.

Archer

Why go home when you can bang in public? As I once told Jack and Sawyer, there’s this Acer tree in the Japanese Gardens. I haven’t taken Darcy there yet, but it’s really romantic.

Jack

IF YOU FUCK MY SISTER AT ONE OF YOUR FORMER PLAYBOY SPOTS, I WILL SHOVE MY STICK WHERE THE SUN DOESN’T SHINE.

Me

What the fuck is this group chat?

Sawyer

It’s unhinged and disturbing. I’ve tried to leave multiple times, but Jack just adds me back in. I fear the same fate may be bestowed on you too.

Jack

No one appreciates me around here. Or the hard work I put into our friendships.

Archer

I appreciate your sister.

Jack

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