Page 107 of Full Tilt
“Because I want to be,” I clarify, just in case she hasn’t gotten the message yet.
Her eyes drop to the center of my chest. “I know … I know you do, Tommy.”
I tip her chin up to look at me. “Tell me what else is holding you back from giving us a shot. Is it Holt? I’ll set the record straight between us, I promise.”
She shakes her head again. “The Holt thing is tricky, but only because he is a protective brother.”
“Tell me what else I need to do, Jenna.”
Running her tongue across her bottom lip, she looks off to the side and then back at me. The string lights set up all around the rink burst into life and twinkle in her eyes as darkness continues to fall.
“I want you to keep showing me Tommy Williams. Because that’s the boy holding my chin. He’s the one you’ve buried inside you.” Her palm comes to my chest again. “The tattoo over your heart—what does it mean?”
Hearing Jenna call me by my mom’s name, coupled with her direct question, knocks me off guard, and I drop my eyes to her glove. “The scissors and thread?”
She nods subtly. “Of all your tattoos, that’s the one that stands out to me. It has to have meaning.”
“God, Jesus.” I close my eyes. “How do you know all the questions to ask me?”
“I think because of all the people you’ve met in your life, I’m the first one that you want to open up to.”
I kiss her, so fucking hard, lifting her up so she wraps her legs around my waist. Sure, there’s a chance she could slice my leg open with a blade, but it’d be worth it to hold her like this.
She’s right. So fucking right.
“It was my first tattoo.”
Jenna cups the back of my neck in her palms, and I skate over to the side, setting her down on the boards and stepping between her legs.
“Sir, I’m afraid we don’t allow people to sit?—”
The guy working the rink stops dead in his tracks when I growl at him. He isn’t disturbing this moment with my girl.
“Never mind. As you were.” He waves me off, eyes flared wide.
“I shouldn’t find your assholery sexy,” Jenna sighs. “But in this moment, I do.”
I take one of her hands and place it back over my heart.
“It was the first tattoo I ever got. Right after everything went down with Alex and he kicked me out of his apartment, I had time to kill before my flight home. So, I got my first tat. It symbolizes cutting ties.”
Jenna stares at my chest, almost like she’s trying to see it through my clothes. “Like cutting your mom and dad out of your life?”
That wasn’t what I was going to say, although she’s not wrong.
“Cutting ties with my feelings. I felt like it was a crime to care about people or that it was easier to just walk away from emotions and any kind of relationship. The hurt I felt toward my parents twisted me up good, Jen. It still does.”
“That’s a long time to hold so much anger in your heart, Tommy.”
“Do you not feel bitter toward your parents for favoring your brother over you?”
Her dark hair is almost as black as the beanie she’s wearing. But none of Jenna is dark. She’s a wild child, for sure, but her soul is as pure as freshly Zamboni’d ice.
“What’s the point of holding on to anger or bitterness? Just let it go and concentrate on the people in your life who bring youjoy and safety. If they don’t make you feel good about yourself, then they aren’t worth a second more of your energy.”
She presses her forehead against mine, looking me square in the eyes. “And, yep, you can take that as a compliment. I wouldn’t be here with you if I didn’t want to be.”
Like I’m a fucking teenager or something, my cock strains against the zipper of my jeans. “Spend the night with me. Come back to my place. We can watch movies, and I’ll cook for you. I’m addicted to spending time with you because you make me feel so good.”
