Page 20 of The Biggest Secret
“This isn’t how I wanted you to find out, Adam.”
Watching him carefully, I can see his pulse pounding in his neck. He’s even shaking slightly. I’m sure his adrenaline is running through him like a freight train right now.He gently sets Dom back on the ground and I wipe at my tears that are running down my face.
“Dom?” he asks. “Like, Dominic?”
“Yes, Dominic Frances,” I sniffle and try to get myself under control. His eyes meet mine again and I can’t get a read on him. A look of anger mixed with gratitude dances across his face. “I know Frances is a family name for you, I wanted him to have that.”
“And his last name?”
His tone of voice is so intimidating right now I’m afraid to say it. If I left, why did I give him a family name? How do I explain my thought process? I have no explanation. I was selfish. I was scared. I was mad. Butwhen I was in that hospital room and the nurse asked for a name for the birth certificate, it flew from my mouth.
“Casanova.”
A quick breath leaves his lips, and a scornful laugh follows it. “Why?”
“Ad—”
“Why, Chelsea?” he interrogates again, louder this time.
“Do not raise your voice at me in front of him. Do you want his first impression of you to be one of fear?” Breaking from sad, I become protective. He can be mad at me all he wants but he will not scare my child.
Our child.
Fuck.
He walks away from me now, taking a seat at the outside bistro, leaning his forearms on his knees, and hanging his head.
I gingerly follow and sit in the chair across from him, keeping an eye on Dom while he plays with his little car on the patio, and steady my voice. “We need to have a tough conversation, but if you’re going to fly off the handle at me, we will not be having it here. Not in front of Dom and not in front of your family.”
He looks up at me now, nothing but hurt in his eyes. And I’m crushed. I did this to him. To us. All because I decided to throw a temper tantrum and then be stubborn as hell and live in my own misery. The more days that passed, the deeper down in my misery I went and stayed.
“It killed me when you left here without a word. When you left me. It broke my heart, CJ.” He studies me and I see the moment his sadness vanishes. “Turns out, you coming back hurts even more.” He stands abruptly. “I can’t do this now. I have to get back to work. I left my crew and I’m already behind schedule.” He takes his hat off, runs his hands through his hair, throws the hat back on, adjusting it a few times.
That’s his tell. He’s nervous, he’s fidgety and he’s looking for a way out. I’ve seen this a hundred times throughout the years. Honestly, I’m not surprised he’s taking a way out by running to his job. It’s what he’s always done.
“Yup. Of course. Work first, Adam,” I say with aperturbed tone. I cannot help the sound that comes from my mouth, and it should be of no surprise to him either, as it’s one he’s heard numerous times in the past years from me.
“Don’t, Chelsea. You don’t get to just show up like this, drop a bomb, and expect me to put the brakes on everything happening around me. I have a business to run, people who depend on me.”
I stand now, upset because he’s right. I shouldn’t expect to just walk back in with this huge announcement. But I’m also not surprised because this is par for the course. Why did I think anything would change? I walk to Dom and pick him up. Turning back to Adam, I say, “I know all about it, Adam. You’re right. You have people who depend on you.” I pointedly look at Dom and then back to him. “Lots of people who need you.” I push by him and head inside.
“I didn’t know he needed me!” he explodes. I cover Dom’s ears, turning on Adam in a flash.
“What did I say? Donotraise your voice. When you cool down, we’ll talk.” I turn back to the house only to see five faces peering out the window. My body trembling, I enter the door and head to the fridge to get the sippy cup I placed inside when we first got here.
“Everything okay?” Farrah is watching me closely.
I just shake my head. “I really don’t know,” I respond as I lean against the counter, handing Dom over to Adley. “He’s not ready to hear this. I shouldn’t have come here. I thought I had more time to come up with the right words.”
“Why are you here anyway? In this house, Chelsea?” Adam continues to push as he comes through the door. He’s larger than life, taking up all the space in the kitchen. He always did have a strong presence in a room, I always knew where to find him when he entered. We had a pull towards each other, and I never felt complete until he was next to me.
Chess speaks up. “Her, Dom and Adley are staying at Holly Bells, and it’s too small for them. This house is not being used so I said it would be fine for them to stay here.” She stands straighter, staring at her brother, daring him to question her. I know he’s not happy about me being here, but God love Chess for sticking up for us.
“Whatever,” he dismisses her. “I’m going back to work,” he grumbles out. “Billy! Now.”
Billy follows. “Listen pal, you got a baby momma now. You’re going to have to learn to lighten up a little.” Adam replies with a flip of the bird, not even slowing down as he makes his way out the door. Billy turns and winks at me then steps out, following Adam and shuts the door behind them.
I stare at the door, hoping, not expecting, Adam will reappear. Hoping he would come rushing back in, scoop up Dom in a hug and promise everything he had to me in years past. Before I broke us.
