Page 78 of Fall to Me
“You okay?”
“Yeah. Just dizzy.”
I open my eyes and take him in. Hot damn. Carter in camo is a sight to be seen.
“You and Dad just get back?”
He grins the biggest grin, showing off his dimples.
“Yep. Didn’t kill a buck, but I bonded with your dad, and he didn’t shoot me this time, so that’s a win.”
I chuckle and begin walking toward the stables. “Wanna go with me to meet the horses?”
“Actually,” my dad’s voice comes from behind us. “Carter, can you give us about fifteen minutes? I need to talk to River.”
Peering over my shoulder, I catch sight of my dad adjusting his cowboy hat. Carter lifts my chin and kisses my lips. “I’ll go check on your mom and come back out in a few.”
I watch him walk back toward the house as Dad comes up beside me.
“He’s a good man, River. You did good this time.”
Tears fill my eyes at Dad’s approval, and I nod. “He's the greatest man I’ve ever known. Better than I deserve.”
I knew Dad would grow to like Carter. He’s one of those people you can’t help but fall in love with. We begin walking in silence, the sound of our boots crunching on the dead grass under our feet.
“What’s going on with you and Mom? Are you two back together?” I ask, sliding open the stable doors with a grunt.
“Yeah, we are.”
I shake my head, and Dad sighs. “Now look, bug, I know what you’re thinking.”
“Ha. Doubtthat.”
He tosses an arm across one of the stall doors, studying me with his ankles crossed. Ricochet leans his head over the door two stalls down, and I walk over to him and rub his head.
“I missed you so much, baby,” I coo, rubbing the spot between his eyes, ignoring Dad. My horse got me through some of the worst days of my life, and if I had someplace to take him to in New York, I’d bring him home with me.
“You don’t want us together, I get that?—”
“You’re right. I don’t. It’s a terrible idea. You two messed me up, Daddy. All your fighting. And if I’m being honest, you weren’t the nicest man to Mom. You set a poor example of how a man should treat me,” I say, patting my chest as I turn to look at him. “I didn’t know what a healthy marriage was supposed to look like until I met Ethan and Laura. When I saw how Carter’s parents flirted, how kind they are to each other, and even after decades of being together, how much they love one another, I thought it was weird. I mean, maybe that’s the wrong word; it’s sweet, but . . . I don’t know . . . not normal for me to witness. Carter shows me every day how a marriage is supposed to be and the way a husband should love his wife. I wish I could say the same about you. I wish I grew up in a home with a mom and dad who loved each other and didn’t use me as a pawn in their fights.”
Dad stares at the ground, his cowboy hat blocking the view of his face. I lean against the wall with my arms folded across my chest, waiting for him to say something. As he lifts his head, tears stream down his face.
“People grow up, bug. We mature and realize what’s important. Your mom and I almost lost you. In fact, in the aftermath of everything you went through, we lost pieces of you. That’s when we started to grow closer, leaning on one another, trying our best to help you in whatever way we could. We had to hold each other together. It’s gut-wrenching to watch your baby suffer and not be able to do a damn thing. Seeing you in that hospital broke me. It fucking broke me. It changed me.”
Dad chokes back a sob. “It took that to realize I was the problem in our home. I know that now. I know that I didn’t do right by you or your mom. I blame myself every day for what happened to you. You’re right. I didn’t set an example of how you should be treated, and I’m sorry. I am so damn sorry.”
His shoulders shake as the damn breaks, and my chest tightens. I’ve never seen my daddy cry. I swipe the tears from under my eyes and walk over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist. He takes his hat off and lays his cheek on top of my head, holding me for a while before speaking.
“When you left for New York, we missed you so damn much. You never called, and it was like we lost you all over again. Your mom and I started seeing more of each other over the last year. Harold over at the feed store told me that she needed help out here on the farm, so I started helping. It didn’t start off easy. You know how independent she is, and taking help from a man, much less from me of all people, wasn’t something she was thrilled about. But I kept coming home, and over time, she came around. We formed a new friendship, and that friendship grew into something more. We’re different now. Just like you’re different now.”
Looking up, I study his face and think back to Cal and Aspen’s wedding. “But when we were in Vegas, you two didn’t act like . . . you both?—”
“What?” He raises an eyebrow. “Joked? Teased each other? Tried like hell to keep our hands to ourselves?”
“That’s . . . eww . . . but sweet, I guess.” I laugh through the tears.
“I love your mom, and I promise this time around, I’ll treat her right.”
