Page 70 of Fall to Me
I’m gonna fucking kill him. Track him down and rip him limb from limb.
The bathroom door clicks as it closes, and I pick up my phone, heading out of our bedroom. I need someone with connections that won’t say a word to anyone. Michaelson is one of the security guards for the team and used to work for the NYPD. Surely, he can help me out.
I find his number in my contacts, and he picks up on the fourth ring.
“Carter? You never call me. What’s going on?”
“I’ll explain later, but I need your help.” I peer over my shoulder, making sure I’m still alone. “I need a security detail put on River. Know anyone?”
“Do you even know who you’re talking to right now? Do you want me to arrange it for you?” he asks.
“Please. Oh, and this stays between us, yeah?”
The line goes silent for a few seconds, and I pull my phone away from my ear, glancing down at the screen to see if we’re still connected.
“I’ll go ahead and connect with my guy, Deisel,” he says. “But I’ll expect that explanation.”
“Thanks, man. I promise you’ll get one.”
We hang up, and I hang my head in defeat. I have no one to blame but myself for this. I was late, and because I was late, I wasn’t here to protect her. I feel so helpless, like everything is slipping through my fingers. That son of a bitch came into our home and hurt my fucking wife.
Memories of the past come back to haunt me. I wasn’t there to protect my sister, either. And just like I felt helpless then, I feel helpless now. I know River’s strong, but I feel like she’s not processing fully.
She’s gone from one extreme to another. From being scared out of her mind to basically saying she doesn’t care anymore. I promised her I wouldn’t do this—psychoanalyze her—but I can’t help it right now.
Maladaptive Coping Mechanisms.
Emotional Overmodulation.
I squeeze my eyes tight, trying so hard to block out diagnoses. I’m afraid she’s been scared for so long that her brain is trying to overcorrect. What if this causes her to detach from fear altogether? She’s gonna put herself in danger or get herself killed. Maybe I’m an asshole for going behind her back, but so be it. I’m not taking the chance of losing her.
Leaning to the side, I peek up the stairs, then walk back into the living room and call Cal.
“Hey, man,” he answers.
“I gotta make this quick. Is Aspen there?”
All this conniving is making me sick, but I feel like I don’t have any other choice. It has to be done. If not for her safety, then for my own peace of mind.
“Yeah. Want me to put you on speaker?”
“Please.”
“What’s going on?” Aspen’s voice comes from the other end of the call.
I fill them both in on everything, then tell them, “I need her at all away games. Just tell her you need her there or something.”
“I’ll do whatever it takes to protect her,” Aspen says. “But she’s going to kick your ass if she finds out you went behind her back.”
“Aspen,” I pause, chewing on my words. I don’t know what else to do. I feel like this is my only option. Releasing a sigh I continue, “I understand where you’re coming from, I really do, but you didn’t see how she reacted. Her eyes were blank, and she basically told me she didn’t give a fuck anymore. I need to make sure she’s safe. If I tell her what I’m doing, she’ll fight me, and I’ll likely give into her. I’ll take the consequences; they’re better than the alternatives.”
“Your funeral, man,” Cal says.
“Better mine than hers.”
What if she didn’t get away? What if I didn’t train her well enough? What if today, she got lucky?
“Well, I have another phone call to make. Thanks, guys.”
