Page 61 of Fall to Me
“Baby?” I whisper, moving toward her bed.
“What?”
She rolls over to face me as I crawl under the covers and hold out my arms. My chest tightens when she doesn’t come to me.
Air fills my lungs, and I exhale a long breath, letting the covers drop back down. “What’s wrong?”
She huffs, wiping her cheek with the sheet. “Go back to your room, Carter. I’m tired of playing this fucked-up game with you.”
“I haven’t been playing a game, baby.”
“Stop calling me that.”
My brows pull together.Why is she mad?
“Please . . . talk to me.”
I lie there in the dark, waiting with bated breath for her to speak.
“You’ve been withholding sex until I do whatyouwant. I have to tell you whatyouwant to hear.”
“That’s not?—”
“Yes. It. Is. I’m not doing this with another person. No one will ever control me again, no matter how much I love them.”
She turns on the bedside lamp, then moves her pillows and rests back against them.
“No. I haven’t. That’s not?—”
“Really? Then why, Carter? Tell me why you need me to say anything at all? That’smyvoice. Those aremywords.Mypower to wield. If I want to say them, then I will, but you’re not going to force me into submission by using sex like some kind of reward. That’s not fair.”
I adjust the pillows and sit up, watching the tears fall down her cheeks, her face red and splotchy. Seeing her like this absolutely guts me until I think I might puke.
“You took what you learned about me tonight and weaponized it to turn me on, then you walked away because I didn’t say what you wanted me to. That’s the cruelest form of torture, Carter. You should know by now that I’m yours.”
My heart pounds in my chest like a loud drum. They’re the words I wanted to hear, but this wasn’t how I wanted to hear them. I didn’t realize what I was doing. Tears glimmer in her eyes and fall down her face. I wipe them away as I caress her cheek. I understand where she’s coming from, but maybe she doesn’t understand what my hang up is in this.
“You’re my obsession. An unhealthy form of addiction. My fatal flaw. You may very well be my demise. You could wreck me. Ruin me. Crush my fucking soul. The power has always been yours.” A sting presses against the back of my eyelids as I place my hand over her heart. “All I’m asking for . . . all I want is this, right here. It’s a trade I can’t sacrifice. I want to own your heart, just like you own mine.”
She moves closer, curling her body into mine. “Carter, how do you not know you already do?”
I stare at her, flabbergasted and let her words sink in. You know when you’re on the outside of someone’s life looking in, and you can see the full picture, but when it comes to yourselfyou can’t see the forest for the trees? That’s exactly where I’m at right now. Hell, it’s what I’ve been trained to do: figure out other’s trauma. I can break down everyone else’s issues with no problem, but I fail to see my own. Nuzzling into her hair, I inhale the sweet scent of her floral perfume and close my eyes.
“I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t realize what I was doing to you. Hurting you was never my intention.” I lean back and tilt her chin up to look at me so she can see the sincerity in my eyes. “I don’t want to be another man who takes from you.”
“I don’t want that either,” she whispers.
“So, take from me instead.”
Her brows crinkle in confusion, and I lower my mouth to hers slowly until she nods, giving me the green light. I place a gentle kiss to her lips and repeat, “I’m sorry, baby.”
She nods, then her lips are back on mine in teasing feather-like kisses. Shifting, she breaks our kiss only long enough to straddle me. My cock stiffens, and the heat of her arousal seeps through the thin fabric between us. She grinds down, andfuck, I need to be inside of her. I moan into her mouth as I grip her hips, and instead of stilling her, this time I move her against me. Dragging my mouth away from hers, I lick and suck all the way up her neck.
“Take your power back, River.”
My words hang loose in the air between us. Leaning back, her eyes roam over my face before she finally rises to stand. She opens her nightstand drawer, takes out a bottle of lube, and tosses it down beside me, then moves to the end of the bed. The covers slide across my legs as she tosses them onto the floor. Her hands wrap around my ankles, and with all her strength, she tries to pull me down the mattress. I help her out and shift on the bed where she wants me—hands at my side—and wait for her instructions. She crawls between my parted legs, biting them all the way up on each side.
Oh, fuck, I can tell by the look in her eyes that she’s not gonna go easy on me.
