Page 102 of Fall to Me
I sigh and rub my temples. “You need to tell him.”
“You know it’s not that easy.”
It’s not. Cal lost his first wife and his baby five years ago. The trauma from that ripped him apart, and I’m sure she wants to be positive that the baby is okay before breaking the news to him.
“Look, sis. I’m gonna be real with you. You’re forcing him to miss out on all the firsts. The first doctor’s appointment. Thefirst ultrasound. He deserves to have those things, especially after everything he’s been through. Don’t fucking do that to him. It’s not fair.”
She tilts her head and stares past me, mindlessly tracing her fingers along the rim of her glass. I can tell she’s thinking over what I just said.
“I want to get to the second trimester before telling him. What if something goes wrong?”
“What if it doesn’t, Aspen? I’m just saying . . . what you’re doing isn’t right. Cal is strong. I mean, shit, he handles your ass just fine.”
She wipes the corner of her eyes and laughs. “Yeah, he does.”
I move to the chair next to her and take her hand. “I love you, and that’s why I’m telling you right now that you are so wrong for this. I know you’re scared, but you need to do the right thing.”
Laying her head on my shoulder, she nods. The food in my stomach begins to turn, and I can feel it moving up my esophagus. Oh, God. I ate way too much. Way. Too. Much. Jumping up from my seat, I hold a hand to my mouth and run to the bathroom. I barely have time to close the door behind me and make it to the toilet before emptying my stomach. What the fuck? Filling my plate that full was stupid.
Carter
Taking a seat on the patio chair, I pull my coat tighter around me as Cal sets an ashtray onto the table between our chairs, then turns to the propane heater. A hiss, then several clicks fill the space as he turns it on. Reaching back without looking, he hands me a cigar, a cigar cutter, and a lighter. I cut the tip and light the end. As I inhale the thick smoke of the first drag, I begin tocough and choke, my eyes brimming up with tears. I’m not one for smoking, but Tucker’s adoption is a cause for celebration. I hand the lighter back to Cal, and he sits down in the chair next to me, cutting the tip, then flicking his thumb over the little wheel until fire catches to light his own cigar.
Glancing over to the door, he keeps his voice low as he says, “I think Aspen’s pregnant.”
My brows shoot up. “No shit? What makes you say that?”
He shrugs and gazes out over the expansive yard, deep in thought, watching the snow fall to the ground. “Well, aside from the fact that a full box of unopened tampons has been sitting under the sink for over two months . . . have you noticed her boobs?”
I chuckle. “Dude. I know where my eyes belong, and the only set of tits I care to look at are River’s.”
“Well, Aspen’s have gotten bigger, and she won’t let me touch them because she says they hurt. She’s moody as fuck,” he continues. “Cries for no goddamn reason. She’s been getting sick and craving weird shit.”
I ash the cigar into the ashtray, my brows tugging down into a frown, then I take another drag and blow out the smoke before asking, “Weird shit . . . like ranch dressing on fucking garlic bread?”
“Now, that was disturbing as hell.” He points at me with his cigar, shaking his head. “What is it with Okies and Ranch? Wait. You don’t think River’s pregnant, do you?”
“Nah. There’s no way she could be. She took a morning after pill a few weeks ago. Wouldn’t be mad if she was though.”
An ash tumbles onto my jeans, and I dust it off, then lean back and stretch out as the heater begins to kick in, taking the bite out of the cold air. We sit in silence for a while, Cal still lost in his thoughts.
“What if Aspen is pregnant and something goes wrong? I don’t know if I can go through that again.”
I turn my head toward him. “What if everything’s perfect, and instead of being excited about a new baby, you both spend more time being scared about a tragedy that may never even happen? You can’t live your life in fear, brother.”
“Yeah,” he sighs.
Snubbing out the cigar, I stand and clasp Cal’s shoulder. “Ask her to take a test. Now, it’s cold as fuck out here. You ready to head back inside?”
He stands and brings me in for a handshake, patting me on the back. “Yeah. Thanks for the talk. Oh, before we go back inside, I want to talk to you about something else.”
He moves to the heater, turning it off as I shove my hands into my pockets, waiting for him to speak.
“I know it’s a given with River, or whatever . . . and it’s a huge responsibility, but when this adoption goes through, I want to legally name you Tuck’s Godfather. I just . . . I want to make sure he’s taken care of if something were to ever happen to us.”
“Man, I’d be honored.” My chest swells with emotion, and the wind causes my eyes to sting. That’s what I’m gonna blame it on anyway.
“Thanks, brother.”
