Page 1 of Fall to Me
Prologue
River
Have you ever found yourself in a place where you’ve dug yourself into a hole so deep that you think you’ll never be able to climb out? Small traces of who you are still remain, but you’ve given so much of yourself to someone else that you lost your identity along the way and don’t even know who you are anymore?
I’m there.
As I lie in my bed, wondering what my life has become, tears streak down my bruised temple and fall into my hair. I know I can’t stay here anymore. Part of me worries that if I stay, he’ll kill me . . . but if I leave, the outcome may very well be the same.
The bed dips, and my entire body locks up. I close my eyes and try to even out my breathing, hoping Jaxon will believe I’m asleep. He curls his body around mine, his bare chest pressing against my back, then I feel his hand trail along my hip before splaying across my stomach. I force myself to swallow back the bile crawling up my throat.
“I’m so sorry, Rivie,” he whispers in my ear.
It’s always the same. He’s always sorry, but nothing ever changes, no matter how many times he promises that it will. My perfect marriage turned into my worst nightmare. “Accidental” injuries turned into deliberate ones. Deliberate ones I’m somehow responsible for because I’m stupid, clumsy, or did something to piss him off. And to try to make things better in our marriage, I gave up my hometown, my family, my career, and my dreams. I isolated myself, praying that things would be different; this time, his promises would stick, because now my family isn’t around to “meddle in our business.”
Tonight was proof that I’m just living on borrowed time. My jaw aches; it’s surely dislocated, and my left eye is swollen shut and marked purple. All because I said something wrong. That’s something I’ve become very good at: doing or saying the wrong things.
Light snores fill my ears, and my eyes fly open. I can’t fall asleep. If I do, I’ll miss my opportunity to run. I wait another fifteen minutes, then carefully peel his arm off me and climb out of bed. He releases a deep breath, and I freeze, watching for any movement out of him. Tiptoeing, I run to the keys dangling on the keyholder beside the garage door and take the one for my car. I’m barefoot and in pajamas, but I don’t care. I have to get out of here. I snatch my purse off the counter and open the door to the garage. Three little beeps sound, alerting that a door has been opened.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Please don’t wake up.
I ease the door closed, then hop into my car, my heart pounding in my ears as I lock myself in. Knowing it’s going to wake him up but hoping I’ll be able to get a head start and put some distance between us, I flip my visor up and press the garage door opener.
Come on. Come on.
The hum of the garage door opener is so loud, and the pulleys creak as they force the door to rise. When the door is up far enough for my car to exit, I peel out of the garage and whip around his new Chevy truck, thinking I should’ve thought to take his keys. It’s too late now. I don’t look back as I take off down the driveway and turn onto the county road. I have 170 miles to put between us, then I’ll be back home with my family. My foot sits heavy on the gas as I press the pedal down harder, my car fishtailing on the washboards of our dirt road.
“Siri, call Aspen.”
The phone rings and rings before her voicemail picks up.
“Hi, you’ve reached Aspen . . .”
I slam my hand down on the steering wheel.Dammit!
I shouldn’t bother her anyway. She has a little boy to think about, and I don’t really want to lead Jax to her house. I reach over and grab my phone as Aspen’s voice plays through my Bluetooth, ending the call.
“Siri, call Dad.”
After a couple of rings, my dad answers, and tears immediately prick my eyes before spilling over onto my cheeks.
“Daddy . . .” I choke out a muffled sob.
“Bug, what’s going on?”
A light catches my eye in the rearview mirror, and I glance up to find headlights reflecting back at me, shining through the thick cloud of dirt trailing behind my car. By the height, I can tell it’s a pickup, and it’s quickly closing the distance between us. Even though the road is dark, there are no streetlights to light the way, and I can’t see who it is, I know that it’s him. I can feel it in my gut. Who else would be out on these back roads in the middle of nowhere this late at night? I make a right onto the next county road, not even stopping at the stop sign. My car fishtails again, nearly swerving out of control as the gravel crunchesbeneath my tires. I jerk the steering wheel back to the left and press the pedal down as far as it will go.
“I’m on my way home, Dad,” I say, looking into my rearview again, catching a glimpse of the truck’s headlights before the beams disappear right behind my car.
With a crunch, my car lurches forward, and a scream escapes my mouth as I nearly lose control again. “Fuck!”
“What was that?” Dad asks, his voice laced with panic.
I straighten up, then try to push harder on the gas, but the pedal is as far down as it will go. I’ll be lucky to make it off this road alive.
“Daddy, I’m scared!” I scream out, my voice breaking, as I look back again. “Jaxon! It’s Jaxon! He’s going to kill me.”
