Page 80 of The Duchess' Ultimatum
Albina looked distraught and she was quick to wrap her arms around Penelope in a showing of support. “You can stay here as long as you need. Joseph and I…” She squeezed her tightly. “There is more than enough room for you. You know this.”
“My sisters extended me the same offer.”
Albina laughed. “Yes, but they are nowhere near as fun as I. With them, you know it will be nothing but pouting and bickering and chaos with their children. Here, well, I might even dare to say that we will have fun.”
“Fun?” Penelope scoffed. “As if I want such a thing?”
“Distractions then,” Albina pivoted. “Whatever you need. Just don’t go home – not yet. There is nothing there for you.”
“There is nothing here for me either,” Penelope said. “No offence.”
“What will you do?” Albina asked, still holding her. “Mope around the big manor on your own? Why would you do that to yourself?”
Penelope sighed. “I managed for three years, didn’t I? What is a lifetime compared to that?”
So, this is what my life has come to. It would be nice to say that at least it can’t get any worse, but knowing my luck, I am sure that somehow it will manage to do just that…
She was sitting on the end of her bed, the sun shining across her face, wanting to feel its warmth and be lifted by it like a flower growing from the dirt, but wilting because despite her best efforts Penelope could not find it within herself to be pulled from the misery that consumed her.
Albina was with her, as she had been these last few days. Never letting Penelope out of her sight for more than a few hours, she was determined to look after her because she knew the reason for this morose situation. Just as she knew there was nothing to be done.
For days now, it had been much the same.
Rather than returning home from the duke’s estate, Penelope had decided to stay with her cousin for the simple reason that she didn’t want to be alone. She had hoped the company might distract her, that she might use it to forget and move on. But such hopes were beyond her conception and she realized pretty quickly that the pain she felt was set to last for a while yet. Possibly forever.
It was thus that when she woke this morning, Penelope decided on something. Desperate to forget about the duke. Determined to put him from her mind once and for all. Needing a reason to move on while knowing that there was no chance that hercircumstances might change, the measure she was about to take was as drastic as it was necessary.
As to what she had planned? She would annule her marriage to Dorian once and for all, severing him from her life, giving both herself and him a chance to move on.
“Now, are you going to do this for me, or do I need to ask someone else?” Penelope asked her cousin.
Albina winced. “I really wish you wouldn’t ask that.”
“Someone else, then.”
“No.” Albina dropped her arms and sat up. “I will do it – but only because I know that there is no changing your mind. Best that it comes from me.”
“Today,” Penelope said. “Right now, Albina. Do not try and stall.”
Albina grimaced. “I was going to suggest tomorrow…” She caught Penelope’s glare and grimaced again. “But yes, today. I will tell Joseph where I am going and then…” She sighed and her shoulders slumped. “I suppose I will do as you ask. But I am not happy about it.”
“And you think that I am?”
“All the more reason to reconsider…”
“Too late for that,” Penelope sighed, her world collapsing around her. “Besides, Dorian will want this as well as I. It is the only way.”
This was better for everyone, Penelope conceded. Not just her. Not just Dorian. But Barbara too. By removing herself from their family, it would shield them from any rumors that might come about, effectively saving them and giving both a chance at a new life. One that Penelope felt they both deserved.
As to what she would do? She had no idea. She would be single once more. She would be without a child to care for. No purpose. No reason for living. The next few years of her life promised to be the hardest yet.
Deep down, there was that side of her that wondered if this was the right thing… that fought against her… that begged her to rethink this decision. But he was sick of feeling this way. She was done with all the guilt and the shame and the sadness. This wouldn’t be easy, but it was a step in the right direction. At least she told herself as much.
“Go,” Penelope told her cousin. “Please, Albina. Just… just go.” Albina was to deliver the message to Dorian, at which point she hoped he would organize the paperwork. In a few weeks she would receive it, sign it, send it off, and that would be that.
Albina rose slowly and looked upon Penelope for the last time. “I am so sorry this has happened, Penelope,” she said. “Truly, my heart breaks.”
“As does mine,” Penelope sighed. “As does mine.”
