Page 71 of The Duchess' Ultimatum
“May I ask why? He is a nice young man. From a good family. And from the little I saw, he cares for you. His father, too, is quite adamant about the match.”
“Lord Kenbrook…” It was subtle, but he saw something change in Barbra when she said the name. Was that fear? Disgust? The sense that Lord Kenbrook was as much the reason for her dislike of Nicholas as anything else? But it was gone quickly. “Do you want him to court me? Nicholas, I mean?”
“I want to know what you want.”
“I told you already,” she said. “And please, don’t pretend this is about me. His father…” Again, a shadow passed behind her eyes. “He has offered you something, hasn’t it?”
“In a fashion…”
Slowly, she shook her head. “Please, Dorian. Don’t make me. I… I can’t… please…” She started shaking from fear—something beyond a mere dislike of the young lord.
That was all the answer that he needed.
Perhaps if she gave it a chance, it might work out. Was that not how these things usually went? But his sister was stubborn, she would not give it a chance or want to. If he forced her to marry Nicholas Wood, she would spurn it, withdraw into herself once more, and from that she might never recover.
“You don’t have to accept his courtship,” Dorian assured her, again pulling her into a hug. “I just had to hear you say it one more time.”
“Thank you.” She held him tight. “I… I am sorry –”
“Don’t apologize,” he cut her off. “Never apologize for being honest. But I want you to promise me one thing.”
“What?” Her arms were around him and he squeezed her tight.
“That after this weekend, you will at least try. There is still a full Season and I would so love to see you attend more balls. The man of your dreams, if such a thing exists, might be out there right now.”
She snorted. “How romantic.”
“I surprise myself, sometimes.”
“I will, Dorian,” she promised him. “I will.”
That was it then. Barbara would not court Nicholas Wood and no threat from his father would change that. Of course, that meant that he would spread the rumor about Dorian’s broken marriage to theton,which in turn would stain Penelope’s name beyond what it already was.
Dorian tried to focus on the positive, that he would have his sister with him for some time to come. That purpose still there, a person to look after and care for. Only this time, it felt nowhere near as good as it once had.
Guilt was what wrecked him. The pressing shame of what he was doing to his wife. Now, he wondered if it was worth trying harder with her as they had promised to do, because if they somehow managed to make it work then what did it matter about some silly rumor?
And if it didn’t…perhaps a child will be the consolation prize? Although once she finds out what I have done, she might not even want that.
The conversation with Barbara had been easy. The one he needed to have with his wife was going to be next to impossible. He cared for her deeply, and that was what would make it so damn hard.
So much easier when I didn’t care. This, I suppose, is the price I pay for opening myself up to the mere idea that I deserve something more. A lesson learned the hard way, as they always are.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
The final feast of the weekend party, which was supposed to be the crown jewel of the entire event, was a most awkward affair.
She had spent the day avoiding Dorian – avoiding everyone! In her room, the door closed and locked, she wrestled with the consequences of her actions and how she meant to solve them. Or if solving them was even possible.
On the one hand, she wanted to try and make this marriage work with Dorian. They had grown so close these past two weeks and she truly believed that if they worked at it then there was a real chance that this marriage might grow into something real.
On the other hand, Henrietta’s thinly veiled warning echoed in her head, and she could not escape the feeling that to do so might cause untold consequences that would damn not just Dorian’s reputation but Barbara’s also.
She felt selfish for thinking only of her own needs, and now for the first time had to reckon with the happiness of others. Was it worth pursuing this on the off chance it might turn into something great? Or should she return to the shadows so that Barbara might live the life that she deserved. And what would Dorian say if she told him this?
It wasn’t until she arrived at supper that she wondered if maybe the decision was made for her.
Dorian had not come to see her all day and that was telling. He hadn’t even checked on her before supper, another sign that he had once again changed his mind. And when she presented herself in the ballroom where the tables were set and the guests were waiting, his inability to so much as look at her all but confirmed his feelings.
