Page 60 of The Duchess' Ultimatum
“Honestly? I am not sure.”
“Well, that’s a lie,” he scoffed. “Dorian, you know I care for you. Just as you know how much I respect you for what you have done for your sister these last few years. But as I told you when you returned here, you do her a disservice.”
“I remember the conversation…”
“Do you? Looking after her as you have done is one thing, but she is not a little girl anymore. And you won’t be around forever to protect her – nor should you be. You might think that letting her choose is the right thing, but she will not thank you for it. And all you are doing is holding her back.”
Dorian grimaced. “I… I just want her to be happy, Jospeh. Is that such a bad thing?”
“No, what you want is for you to be happy. Or to pretend that you are.” He dropped his hand and shook his head. “If Barbara does find a mate, she will leave here, and you’ll have nobody in your life – and do not dare mention your wife.”
Dorian looked at his friend, trying his best to be dismissive, knowing he likely looked like a broken mess. “I wasn’t going to. Penelope and I…” He sighed and his shoulders slumped. “That was never going to work.”
“Hard to make something work when you don’t even try in the first place.” Joseph did not wait for a response, walking into the ballroom without looking back.
And Dorian was left there to watch, alone, no one to talk to, to share in his misery, to tell him that he had done the right thing and had nothing to fear. It was a mode of being he was all too used to be now, and would continue to be for the rest of his life.
One day soon, Barbara would leave him. Then he would have nothing. And the one person who might have been able to savehim from that fate had made her intentions all too clear, caused by how own indecision and stubbornness.
I only have myself to blame. But that is a theme in my life, for better or worse. In this case, worse. Much, much worse.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Day two of the weekend started slowly.
Following breakfast, the guests were free to spend the morning anyway that they wished, told to be back by midday for a musical soiree in the garden that was not to be missed.
Many spent the morning with loved ones and family members, walking the estate and sitting in the garden, while a few even went back to bed to sleep off the wine they’d drunk too much of the previous evening.
Many more decided to go for a walk to the local village, which was just one mile down the road. Penelope was one of those who opted for this little adventure, and she was beyond pleased when Barbara asked if she could join.
“How long has it been since you’ve visited the village?” she asked as they left the manor together. Evelina and Alexandra were withthem too, but they were walking ahead, giggling together about the state of their husbands who had both returned to bed.
“A while…” Barbara held Penelope’s hand as they walked, and Penelope could feel how tense she was already.
“I think it is longer than that,” Penelope said with a caring smile, giving Barbara’s hand a squeeze. “But never fear, there is nothing to cause worry. And as soon as you wish to return, all you need do is let me know.”
Barbara thanked her for this and together the four women started the short walk. Among them were more of the guests also, spread out, all going at different paces. This meant that it was largely just Penelope and Barbara, holding hands the whole while, able to talk without fear of being overheard.
For that reason, Barbara was only too eager to tell Penelope what had happened to her this morning.
“Can you believe it?” Barbara said, the surprise evident in her tone and on her face, as she explained what Dorian had told her. Or rather, how accepting he had been of her refusal to be courted by Nicholas Wood.
“Are you certain that was what he said?”
“It was,” Barbara said, nodding eagerly. “I was certain he would insist – that he would be angry with me. But he almost seemedrelieved, as silly as that is. I mean, this is all he has wanted for ages. Is that not strange.”
“Yes,” Penelope agreed. “Very strange.”
They walked in silence for a few minutes, enough time so that Penelope could consider what she had just heard and what it meant.If it means anything at all? Maybe Dorian just does not like young Nicholas very much? Maybe he wants someone better? Or maybe…
Penelope spent the night with the decision she had made, and what she’d told Dorian when he’d finally confronted her. It had been hard to do, made harder when he tried to kiss her, but she was certain it was the only choice to make.
Ultimately, Dorian did not want this marriage, and he never had. As far as she was aware, he never wished to marry and his mind wasn’t going to be changed on that front. He was not one who believed in love or happily ever afters, and she wasn’t going to waste her time with a man who she suspected would end in hurting her.
Now… had something changed in her husband?
As far as she knew, he wanted nothing more than for his sister to marry, and he did not seem the type to care who to. So long as he was a lord from a good family, someone to look after her and guide her into the next stage of her life. That his sister did not care for Nicholas should not have mattered.
