Page 35 of The Duchess' Ultimatum
Her feelings concerning Dorian were still confused. But they were less than they had been before. Putting aside the attraction she felt, Penelope could not help but wonder if the confusion came from something deeper.
All this time, she had wanted a child because she thought that she must have one.Must. The emptiness inside of her, the need to fill it with a purpose of her own. But what if it wasn’t a child that she wanted? What if… could the duke be her purpose? The marriage she never wanted, now given a real chance like never before? Would that be enough to fill the hole and make her complete?
And most importantly, would the duke want such a thing? Or was he merely looking to fulfil an obligation and be done with her?
Right now, it felt as if such worries weren’t what she should have been focusing on. Her heart was thumping so it hurt her. Her eyes flicked to Dorian’s lips, plump and full and so close… they called to her, as if begging to be kissed.
She had tried so hard not to think about Dorian like this. She had been desperate not to think about him at all. Yet as things stood,where she believed this night was going, she decided that what she had wanted and what she wanted now were two completely different things. And there was nothing wrong with that.Not even a little bit…
“Penelope,” Dorian began, his voice dropping to a whisper. “There is something that… something I need to ask you.”
“Yes,” she said, puckering her lips on instinct.
“It might come across as brash and a little forward,” he continued. “But please, consider it. I am sure you will see it is in both of our interests.”
“What is it…” She leaned in just a little further, eyes flicking to his lips and then back to his eyes.
“Tonight made me realize that this party, although it is necessary, it is but one step in the right direction – a vital one, of course. But still, just one of many factors that need to be considered.”
“I don’t…” Penelope’s brow furrowed because she had no idea what he was talking about now.
“Seeing you and my sister together made me realize that what Barbara needs most of all is a friend, someone she can be social with, who might help guide her so that when the time comes she will be ready to find a mate.” He smiled and Penelope’s frown deepened. “This party is so soon but I believe that if you were tospend more time with Barbabra, shepherding her, by the time it arrives she will finally be herself in ways that I know she can be.”
“I…” Penelope gave her head a shake. “I don’t understand.”
“I am asking for a favor,” he continued. “Please, would you consider spending more time with Barbara these coming days? Coaxing her from her shell so that when the party begins, she will not be nearly so withdrawn.” He took her hand and squeezed it and she just about cried out. “I would be beyond appreciative.”
Penelope’s heart sank.
Well… that is not what I was expecting.
She thought Dorian was bringing her to her room to make good on their deal. What she had gotten instead was a favor asked, one that had nothing to do with… that.
“I… yes, of course,” Penelope stammered as she tried to hide her disappointment. “I would be happy to.”
He smiled with relief. “Thank you. You have no idea how much… I can’t tell you how grateful I am.”
“Don’t mention it.”
She didn’t know what else to say. Feeling foolish, Penelope looked away, her cheeks flushed pink because now that she understood what the duke wanted, she could not believe how close she had come… how much she had wanted him… dammit, how desperate she had been!
That he thought to ask her for a favor instead… it brought an unexpected smile to her lips. Such a small thing but it was a sign of how far they had come in these past two weeks. No longer complete strangers, a man she was slowly coming to learn about as he was her.
I suppose that’s one thing to be glad for. Small victories, as it is.
“I owe you,” he said to her, giving her hand a final squeeze before letting it go.
“D-don’t mention it,” she said, still awkward because he could surely see the disappointment in her eyes.
Dorian left her after that. A quick goodbye and he hurried down the hall and from view. This left Penelope standing outside her room, still feeling confused, but not quite as much as she could have done. If anything, her mind had never been so clear.
Again, she was forced to consider the reality of her situation. The child that she was desperate for, and what it represented. She knew it was not the child that she yearned after, but the purpose that it brought her. And with how she was starting to feel about Dorian, might a different purpose be preferred?
This marriage… this situation… she knew now what she wanted. The only question was, did Dorian want the same?
CHAPTER TWELVE
“It’s about time you extended us an invitation!” Lord Joseph Mullens, the Marquess of Everdon laughed as he took Dorian by the arm and gave it a firm shake. “I worried we might have to wait until your funeral before such an offer was given.”
