Page 57 of The Duchess' Ultimatum
“Penelope…” He half-moved to take her again, unsure now, fighting with himself it looked like to her. “I… is this not what you want?”
She sighed and looked away. “Even if it is, Dorian. It’s not what you want.”
“Maybe I do.”
“Then why don’t I believe you?” She forced herself to look at him one last time and she saw the doubt filter behind his eyes. Maybehe did want it. Deep down, maybe he was trying to be honest with himself for a change. But he was still unable to admit it to himself fully, and she wasn’t about to let herself in so he could hurt her a second time.
He said nothing. And she wasn’t in the least bit surprised.
Bowing her head, Penelope walked around Dorian and left the ballroom behind. She thought for a moment that she saw movement, possibly him coming after her. A slight turn of the head and it was nothing, her eyes playing tricks.
A deep sigh and she continued through the house and toward her room. She told herself that she had done the right thing and this was for the best, but it was a bitter truth to swallow.
And as she climbed into bed and pulled up the covers, she could not decide if what she had just done was indeed the right thing, or if it was a terrible mistake. A chance presented, turned down, and for that she would be alone forever.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Dorian slept terribly. It did not come as a surprise.
Most obviously, it was thoughts of Penelope that plagued him, paired with how stupid he felt in what he had done and how he had behaved.
All Dorian had to do, the only thing, was admit to her that he had been wrong from the beginning. To stop using his sister as an excuse and tell Penelope that although their marriage had started as one that neither of them wished to pursue, he now realized that things had changed and that if he was given a chance, that there would be more here than either had thought possible.
He didn’t do that.
What he did was try to find a middle ground. Putting the blame on her as much as himself. Citing his own confusion as if that was still some sort of excuse. Ignoring how he felt and howshe knew he felt about him because he was terrified of what admitting his feelings would mean.
I never wanted this marriage. And to admit that now I might would be to admit that this stage of my life is ending… that Barbara might not need me anymore… that my entire life until now has been for nothing.
By the time the sun rose on the second day of the weekend, Dorian was just about ready to call the whole thing off. And he might have done so, was it not for a knock at his door.
His heart skipped a beat, excitement felt because he thought it might be Penelope come to see him.
“One moment!” he called as he rushed through his room, throwing a robe over himself and trying to flatten out his hair. “Just give me…” He rushed for the door and threw it open, at which point his heart sunk.
“Your Grace…” It was Nicholas Wood, looking as nervous as ever.
“Nicholas.” Dorian blinked through his weariness. “What is it…” He peered past the young lordling. “Is your father…”
“No, this has nothing to do with my father,” Nicholas said, speaking into his chest. He was so darn awkward he couldn’t even look Dorian in the eyes. “It is… I was hoping… a private word, if it pleases you, Your Grace?”
Dorian sighed, his mood well and truly disheveled. “Might it wait until breakfast?” A morning breakfast had been organized, of course, to be taken in the ballroom where there was enough space to seat all the guests. A quick peak toward the window and Dorian guessed half of them were likely there already.
“I was hoping to speak with you before breakfast, Your Grace.”
“Concerning?”
Nicholas began to fidget with his hands, his eyes looking everywhere but directly at Dorian. “I wished to say, last evening, I… I rather enjoyed… the chance to dance with your sister… I was grateful and thoroughly enjoyed… she is a pearl beyond… a true beauty and…”
“If you don’t mind, can you please get to it,” Dorian groaned and rubbed his eyes. “You have caught me at a rather inappropriate moment.”
“Sorry, Your Grace.” Nicholas took a few short breaths. “Your—your sister has enraptured me, and I have come here to ask permission to pursue her in courtship.”
“You have?’ Dorian blinked.
“If it pleases you, Your Grace.”
Times were that Dorian would have felt relieved by the young lord’s words. After all, was that not the entire point of thisweekend? A desperation felt to find his sister a suitor so that she could heal and move on, possibly find happiness because she deserved nothing less. Oh, how times had changed.
