Page 5 of Redeeming the Outlaw
Naomi shook her head. “I’m going with Mama and Ruth to visit the widows in town.” She leaned forward again, her light blonde hair bouncing underneath the ridiculous ribbon on top of her head. “I don’t think they want to be here when Papa talks to you.” With a flounce, she was out the door, and Esther could hear her skipping down the stairs.
Sighing, Esther ran a brush through her hair and descended the creaky wooden stairs in search of her father, their old farmhouse enveloped in quiet morning light.
Her father’s study door was slightly ajar. Taking a deep breath, she knocked lightly on the door before pushing it open. The room was small but cozy, with bookshelves lining the walls and a large desk in the center. Her father stood by the window, peering out at the lone tree in the churchyard, its leaves falling with the changing season. He turned to look at her with a warm smile.
“Papa, Naomi said you wanted to see me,” Esther said, trying to hide her nervousness.
“Ah, there you are, my dear,” he said, beckoning her in. “Come in and sit down. I had Mama make us some tea before she left.”
“Tea?” Esther rushed forward and placed her hand against her father’s head. “Papa, are you ill? Naomi said you were upset.” Her mind flitted back to the books she had secreted away. “I’ve not displeased you, have I?”
He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close for a hug, kissing the top of her head.When did his shoulders become so thin?
“Of course not, my darling. You could never displease me.”
“Then what is wrong?”
He motioned for her to sit down on one of the plush armchairs in front of his desk. As she settled into the chair, she couldn’t help but notice his outfit. Instead of his usual Sunday frock, he was wearing an ugly hand-knitted sweater and dark trousers.
“Is everything all right, Papa?” Esther asked, fidgeting with the hem of her dress.
He settled in the chair across from her. Though he was in his late fifties, with hair thinning and graying at the temples, there was a vigor and purposefulness to his movements which defied his age. His face was creased and weathered, speaking to a lifetime of care and conviction. Eyes the color of a cloudless prairie sky looked out from beneath heavy brows, their piercing gaze belying the underlying warmth within.
“Look how grown you are, Esther. It seems like yesterday you were just a babe in your mother’s arms. Now you are a grown woman of nineteen. You should be married by now.”
Esther felt her heartbeat quicken, anxiety mixing with anticipation. “Married, Papa?”
“Mama and I have been thinking,” he began, his voice resonating with the conviction of his faith. “I sent a letter to Reverend and Mrs. Dunn asking them to help us find a suitable husband for you. Of course, we moved to Flat River before the answer arrived.”
Papa, Mama, and her two sisters, Ruth, and Naomi, moved from Grand Platte to Flat River in late September after scarlatina took the town’s reverend. A letter which arrived from Mrs. Ingrid Chapman had convinced her papa to pack his family and move them across the state to a new house and a tiny town.
The words struck Esther like a blow. “Letter?”
Papa picked up a piece of paper and waved it between two fingers. “Their response arrived this morning.”
This explained why everyone left the house.She wondered if her sisters already knew.
“What did it say?”
“Reverend Dunn has shared my letter and requirements with several young men graduating from the seminary college in Chicago. Those who are interested will write to him. Then Mrs. Dunn will help sort the letters and decide on the best ones to forward to me for review.”
Esther had known this moment would come, but the reality of her impending marriage filled her with a sense of dread. Her heart yearned for more than a life of duty as a preacher’s wife, but how could she voice such thoughts to her father, the man who had always guided her with unwavering love and devotion?
Yes, she wanted adventure, but couldn’t she have them close to home?
“Will I remain close by? The thought of leaving you, Mama,and my sisters...” the last word came out on a sob. Her heart felt as heavy as a stone in her chest as she considered the prospect of leaving her family. “I don’t know if I want to marry right now.”
Reverend Billings sighed. He pulled his Bible across his desk and placed his hands on top of it, tapping his fingers in a steady rhythm. “Esther, it is your duty to get married and serve as a proper reverend’s wife. If it is God’s will you move, then you will move. If it is His will for you to stay here, then He will provide a way for it to happen. Reverend Dunn should know something soon, and then it will be done.”
Her fingers twisted the fabric of her modest dress nervously. “But, Papa—”
“Esther,” he interrupted, his voice stern but not unkind. “You must trust God has a plan for you, and I am only doing what is best for our family.”
A wave of guilt washed over her. She swallowed hard, her throat tight with emotion. Her father had always been there for her, guiding her with his unwavering faith and love. Surely, he would not lead her astray now.
“I’m sorry, Papa. You’ve been nothing but a good father to me.”
He walked around the desk and placed a hand on her shoulder, his grip firm but gentle. “I fear I have been too lenient with you, my dear. Perhaps I should have been stricter when you were growing up.”
