Page 3 of A Groom for Lauren
She nodded, unable to speak.
“I’m so sorry.”
“So am I,” she whispered.
Wistfully, she gazed at the dark, cold water. It seemed to call her like a mother’s lullaby. The waves slapping against the shore were hypnotic, lulling her into a false security that all would be well. If she just stepped off the bank. The song of the wind lured her like an enchantress from some fairy tale story.
Fairy tales. How she wished she could still believe in them.
Her whole life until she came to Last Chance was a fairy tale.
Rose Red, the men of Philadelphia, had once called her, known for her beauty, vivacity, and charm. Highly sought after, nearly worshipped even, she enjoyed the attention she received from the male constituents. Unlike her sister, she had always planned to marry, but it always seemed as if that would come at some later point in time.
When she’d seen Jonah Hale five and a half years ago, she’d been riveted by him instantly. Out-of-place like a fish beached on the sand, she could not keep her eyes from straying to him. He was so unlike the men who surrounded her parties, in the fancy clothes with stiff, upper crust attitudes she’d seen her entire life.
But Jonah, he was taller than them, broader than them, and not arrogant. In fact, whenever she glimpsed him throughout that night, he looked as if he’d rather be anywhere than at the soiree. When he returned to Nebraska, he wrote her a letter asking her to come west and be his bride. She left that very week.
“If I had never come to Philadelphia, I would have never met you,” Jonah revealed to her more than once through their five-year marriage. At first, he’d said those words with the rose-colored spectacles of a man fully besotted with his wife. Sometimes, he’d hold her close and rock her in his arms, kissing her forehead tenderly as if unable to believe someone like him was married to someone like her.
Later, as the years went on, he’d said that phrase with something that sounded like regret and uncertainty. Then, towards those last months neither of them knew would be there, he’d say those words in a temper, his once shining eyes hard and cold.“I should never have gone to Philadelphia.”
“It would have been better if you hadn’t,” she yelled to him that final night before she never saw him again. “And I wouldn’t be stuck in this forsaken country with a man like you.”
He’d pivoted on one foot and left the room. In her fury and wretched pride, she let him, never knowing what would happen the next day.
“Do you want to check on Esther?”
The man pulled her from her horrible memories. For a second, she glanced back at the water, wanting to seek oblivion again. She watched the water rise and dip as it bounced through the miles of lonely river. She wondered if she jumped, would she bounce along to the great Missouri River, or if she’d simply sink to the bottom.
To numb herself.
As if he knew her thoughts, the man’s hands tightened on her arm. “I won’t let you.”
“Why not? None of this is your concern.”
Strangely, the man smiled. “You’re angry with me.”
Lauren drew back, feeling the fresh rush of blood on her face and traveling through her veins.She was angry.She hadn’t felt angry since Esther was born.
And for it to happen so suddenly…with this man.
What did it mean?
“I am angry with you.” She tried to yank her arm from his grip. “You’re telling me what to do.”
“Yes, I am. Now see to your daughter.” He let go of her arm.
Lauren straightened her back, but she turned away and walked over to where the tree stood by the bank, and got to her knees, nestling her daughter in her arms.
Immediately, Esther awakened and started crying. Lauren gripped the tiny bundle tighter in her arms, fussy cries muffled underneath the knitted wrap. She closed her eyes, willing the noise away. “Shh. Shh,” she whispered into the blanket. “It will be alright.” She loosened her grip and leaned the bundle back slightly to gaze into the large blue eyes surrounded by dark lashes. A small hand waved in the air. Lauren pulled the little hand to her lips and kissed the tiny fingers. Releasing a wracking sob, she wrapped the tiny hand back in the blanket and tried to ignore her feeling of despair.
Lifting her head, she looked across the river to the other side. She could see the ferry crossing the water, coming towards Last Chance.
Last Chance.
Ha! she thought.This was her last chance. Her last chance to get away from everything.
Looking at her precious daughter, Esther, named after Jonah’s mother, she felt her chest tighten. She looked just like Jonah. Tracing her fingertips over Esther’s cherubic features, Lauren sniffed.
