Page 19 of A Groom for Lauren
She did need help.
His idea to reach out to the women of Last Chance wasn't a bad one. She had enough of the Chambers’ pride to find fault with the idea but was miserable enough to give it consideration. When she first married Jonah, she wanted to be the type of wife to make him proud. But her inability to be the type of wife he needed caused a rift between them.
While she talked to Christopher about her marriage with Jonah, she realized that maybe everything wasn't her fault. She and Jonah had loved each other. Perhaps they had rushed into marriage without thinking about the ramifications of their different backgrounds and lifestyles? Jonah had expectations of her that she could not have fully met. She had requirements that Jonah could not meet. Without proper communication they were destined to fail.
Why had it taken so long for her to realize that?
Knowing that she couldn’t sleep, Lauren got up from the bed and put on her dressing gown and house shoes. Esther was starting to drift off and Lauren said a prayer that her daughter would fall asleep without incident. Tiptoeing out of the room, she snuck downstairs, gingerly stepping on the wooden stairs, lest she wake up the baby.
As her feet reached the solid flooring of the bottom level of the townhouse, she released her breath and made her way to the small room in the back of the house. Jonah had carved out a room, so she had a private space, like the sitting rooms in Philadelphia. She could receive visitors, sew, and read without being disturbed.
Thinking about it now, she realized just how silly the whole idea was. In fact, having a small room specifically for visiting, sewing, and reading was just about the stupidest idea ever. It meant keeping another fireplace going in winter. It meant spending time apart when Lauren longed to be with her husband.
She had brought some books with her when she came from Philadelphia, but Jonah didn't know how to read very well. Most evenings he preferred that she read from the scriptures instead of some of the books she brought with her from home.
Over time she was scornful of Jonas lack of wanting to read other things besides the Bible. It wasn't until after his death that she understood he knew most of the verses that she read by heart because he couldn't read as well as she could.
Her hands shook as she picked up the large Bible and caressed it with gentle fingers. What she wouldn't give to read the scriptures to Jonah now.
How many mistakes had she made with her husband?
So many of them.Could she ever be forgiven?
She pulled the lamp closer to her and adjusted the wick, so the room filled with a soft glow. Opening the heavy leather cover, she turned the onionskin paper until she found the book of Psalms and began to read Jonah’s favorite verse. “The Lord is my shepherd…”
Lauren had just finished feeding Esther and was changing her nappy when there was a brisk knock on the door. Checking the watch pinned to her blouse she frowned. Christopher was later that normal.
She lifted Esther to her shoulder and patted the baby’s back as she walked to door. Opening it, she was surprised to see several of the town’s women, including Heather and Altar standing there. Her throat thickened as she noticed they carried buckets, brooms and cleaning rags.
Heather gave her a quick hug. “Good morning, Lauren. We’re here to help.”
Dr. Spaulding hadn’t wasted any time, did he?
Lauren pulled the door back and let the women in. “I’m so sorry that you have to see such mess.”
“Oh please!” Altar Laingsburg said, casting an eye around the house. “When Omega and Alpha were born, I needed all the help I could get. I’m glad I could return the favor so many have done for me.”
Not only had the women brought their cleaning supplies, but several had made dishes of food, as well as nappies and baby clothes for Esther. Lauren looked around at the women and was overcome with emotion. “I can’t thank you enough for your kindness.”
She felt Heather pull her close and rub her shoulder. “I wish you had told me, Lauren. I would have wanted to help you. Do you know that?”
At the kindness in Heather’s blue eyes, Lauren felt ashamed. “I know that now.”
“Why don’t you make some coffee, and we’ll get everything tidied up?”
Lauren went to the stove to make coffee, but Esther was overstimulated by the number of women in the house.
“May I hold her?” a woman Lauren didn’t recognize asked.
“Thank you. I’m afraid I’m not very good with her.” Lauren handed Esther to the woman.
“Nonsense,” the woman said, bouncing Esther up and down. “It takes a while.”
Lauren added fresh coffee to the pot and filled it with water. “Do you have any children?” she asked.
“I have five.”
“Five?”
