Page 28 of The Beta: Part Three
“Then we draw straws,” Alex says, but he's completely serious. He isn't teasing or trying to bring some humor into the situation. Alex wants kids with Talia as much as Corso does, I don't need a bond with him to understand that. I can feel Nathan's gentle excitement. And Trent's horrified joy, that's the only way to describe the way he feels right now. Devon is worried but content. Kaleb is the same. Reid is ecstatic.
“I don't think I've ever heard of an omega-omega reproducing couple. I'm sure there have been plenty of them, there must have been. Wait till Elizabet finds out you’re pregnant.. She's going to be over here all the time. We'll have to make her a room.” Trent rocks back onto his heels and grins at Devon, then Talia. They have the exact same look on their faces, and it isn't a happy one.
“Let's hold off on telling Elizabet, if that's alright with you?” Devon asks Talia.
She nods emphatically. “Yeah, I'd really like to wait to tell my mother until, I don't know, never.”
“Oh, hush,” Alex laughs, “Elizabet is a wonderful grandmother. She can have Trent's room. It'll be a good time.”
“We're not telling her until around fifteen weeks, when I'm half way through the pregnancy. I mean it, Alex.”
“Don't worry, sweet pea. I'm not going to say anything. This is our pack, our life, and our baby. If you want to keep her a secret until she's born, that's what we'll do.”
“She?” I ask. In my mind, I was imagining a little he. A little he, with big blue eyes and dark hair. I don't know why a boy would be less stressful than a girl, but the idea of having a tiny little girl of our own is terrifying. I catch Trent's eye. “A she sounds a lot more scary than a he.”
He is positively jangling with nervousness. “A she would be terrifying. Please, cupcake, for my sake, try to have a he.”
“Keep whining and I'll put all my effort into having one of each.”
Trent pales a little, but I think that might be perfect.
“Now,” I say, and wait for everyone to give me their attention before I finish, “I’d like to address something else. We’ve all been waiting for Talia to have a breakdown or some sort of emotional reaction to all the bullshit she’s been handed. Tell them what you told me, Talia. Say it just like you did outside.”
Talia takes a deep breath and looks each of them in the eye. “I don’t hate being an omega. I have been preparing my whole life to be an omega, but I have always operated as a beta because I wasn’t an omega. Now I am. Again, I do not hate it, I’m just still a beta, internally, in my head. You’re all walking around on eggshells, waiting for me to have some kind of episode or breakdown, and I’m not going to have one. Because I’m okay. I had a thought when Jasper and I were walking inside just now. If I talked to that omega psychiatrist that took care of me at the hospital, just as a check in, and she agrees that I am not on the verge of a breakdown and that I’m as solid as I feel, would that make you feel better? I don’t think counseling is a good fit for me, and I don’t think it will be particularly helpful, but I am willing to try it if it will make you all less worried. I don’t mean to brush everything off, but I don’t think I need to try to feel or be more traumatized than I am just because other people, including my well-meaning alphas, think I should be.”
Corso tucks his hair behind his ears and actually looks a little sheepish. “Talia, none of us wants you to be traumatized, but you have been through so many things. I can’t speak for everyone, but I would like it if you checked in with the doctor. If you tell me that you’re alright I will believe you, always. Never doubt that. I do think it would be good for you to have something like a check up, like anybody else who has been through some of the things you have. It would make me feel a lot better.”
“Okay. I’ll call her in the morning. She gave us her contact information with my discharge paperwork. Maybe we can do a virtual appointment. I’d really rather not go to her physical office, wherever that is. Does anyone mind if it’s a virtual appointment?” Talia asks, unphased by the varying degrees of worry and relief flowing through the bonds. If I’m feeling it, I know she’s feeling it.
“I’m satisfied with a virtual appointment if the doctor can do one. Corso?” Devon is filling his bond with relief.
I don’t have a bond with Corso, but even I can feel relief coming from him as he nods. “Thank you for appeasing us, Talia. Please don’t think we don’t trust your feelings about yourself, it isn’t that. We just worry, and we all want to know that you are truly as well as you say you are.”
She goes over and kisses his cheek. “I know. That’s why I’m calling the doctor.”
~
Devon and Kaleb come to my room that night. They're both very serious. “Who's in trouble?”
“Nobody, angel,” Devon sighs. “We just need to talk to you. About Talia.”
“You should probably be talking to Talia about Talia.” They really should, too. I can give my input on all things Talia until I run out of breath, but that's all it would be. Input. I can usually talk her into seeing things from a different perspective, but nobody really makes Talia do anything she really doesn't want to do. And I sincerely hope none of them ever use an alpha command on her outside of a legitimate life or death situation.
“We need to talk about you, too. In relation to Talia,” Kaleb says, and sits down on my bed.
Devon sits down in the chair by the window and begins what feels like negotiations. “I don't have a bond with her yet, so I can't feel her. Kaleb does, so we're running with his perception and understanding. She's solid with her decision. And I meant what I said, we'll have as many kids as she wants, so long as she's having them for the right reasons. I know she doesn't like going into heat, it's obvious. Kaleb says the way the bond felt earlier when she had her eyes closed was perfect, like her entire being changed when she imagined holding a baby. That's good. Everyone but Trent is pretty happy about it.”
“I think Trent is terrified.” I'm trying to keep from laughing because they're so stoic. But Trent being this nervous about the idea of us having a kid is phenomenal.
“He is, but that's not a bad thing,” Devon takes a breath, “we never talked about actually having kids because, well...”
“Because I'm a male omega. It doesn't bother me. It only bothers me when I think I'm keeping the four of you from having something you want. None of you ever made me feel bad about it. Really.”
“When I was younger,” he continues, “I always thought I'd find my pack, claim my omega, and have a bunch of kids. That's what my brothers did. It was expected. Then I found you and I didn't give a single shit about having kids. I wanted you, and that's it. I was content. We were content. We would still be content, even having Talia with us, if you didn't want to have kids. But there are nine of us now, and I just...I don't want... Is this what you truly want, Jasper? For your own life, and for our life together? If it isn't we can find a compromise, just like we found one when Corso marked Talia. We'll find a way for it to be okay.”
If I didn't already love Devon I would fall in love with him right now. I fell a little more in love with him when he talked Talia through really thinking about having an actual child instead of avoiding theomega bullshit. And I love him a little more now for making sure this is what I want. “I never thought about kids before Talia. Not once. I was never interested in females, alpha, beta, or omega. I'm still not. Talia is the exception, and I can't explain it. It's horrible and maybe immature, but the idea of touching any other female makes me feel, for lack of a better word, gross. Maybe wrong is a better word. Either way, I don't want it. Just Talia. I can't explain it.”
Kaleb interrupts, “it's the mates thing. It happens, but it's rare. And people don't truly understand it unless they actually experience it. You want Talia because she's always been yours, ours too, but your actual mate. I cannot express how happy I am that you have that and that we get to be part of it. We can feel it when you're together, in and out of bed. It's so damn beautiful.”
