Page 27 of The Beta: Part Three
Get me pregnant.
I almost break my ankle twice running down the stairs and out the door. Alex yells, asking what's going on and I wave him off as I slam the door behind me. I'm out of breath when I throw myself on the rock ledge beside her. “Are you serious?”
“I think so. I hate how going into heat makes me someone else. It takes me away from myself, and from you. If I'm pregnant I won't go into heat. If I'm nursing a baby I won't go into heat. That will give me over two years without a heat cycle.” She's picking at the strings on her cut-offs.
“Do you really want to have a baby? Right now? You've only had two heats, and we only just combined our packs.”
She pulls out a string and drops it onto the grass by her feet. “I hate it, Jasper. I hate losing myself. I can wait if you're not ready.”
I never thought about having kids until the day I asked Talia if she'd let me kiss her and experiment with her. From that first touch, that very first taste, I was hers. If she wants to have thirty kids with me and our alphas I'll love every single one of them. They'll be the most horribly spoiled children that ever existed. “If you want to be pregnant and have babies then I want that, too. But it can't just be our decision. It has to be a pack decision. Our babies areourbabies.”
“Of course they'd beour,” she spreads her hands in front of her toward the manor, “babies. Any child I have will belong to all of us. The first one will be biologically yours, then the next one will be biologically Corso's. They can decide the rest of the order. And I don't need to stay pregnant constantly, I'd hate that, too. I just don't want to have more than two or three heats in a row.”
“Talia,” I laugh, “that's only two or three months between.”
“Maybe not. Some women take a few months after they finish nursing to get their cycle back on track. We'll know after the first one. Do you think they'll hate it?”
I roll my eyes. “No, cupcake, they won't hate it. Corso especially. Devon might be a nervous wreck over it, though. I think they're going to love it. But there are other things to consider.”
“What other things?”
It’s interesting and not surprising at all, at least to me, that she hasn’t put it together that our entire pack is waiting for her to have some kind of nervous breakdown over everything that has happened to her. I know she hates the heat cycles, it’s completely obvious; and honestly understandable she’s been a beta for her whole life. I don’t think she hates being an omega, but I don’t think she really feels like she’s an omega until she has a very omega-like reaction to something. We can have as many kids as she wants, but I don’t like the idea of using a baby as a way for her to not have a heat cycle. I want to have babies with her if she genuinely wants them, when she’s truly ready for them.
“Please don’t take this as me telling you what to feel or how to think, because I would never do that. I, we, worry that you may not be handling things as well as you appear to be; and part of that has to do with telling Devon he doesn’t need to apologize. I don’t know, I know you don’t enjoy going into heat, but if you have kids with us, I want you to have them because you want them, not just because having kids will keep you from going into heat.”
She’s silent. She doesn’t say a single thing for so long. Then she tucks her hair behind her ear and starts talking without looking at me. “I would never use a child like that. Never. Iwanta baby with you, Jasper. I want a baby with our pack. I think I need to word how I’m feeling a little differently. I don’t like going into heat because I don’t like the loss of control; but I don’t hate being an omega, which is what you guys probably think. I don’t hate that I’m an omega. I have been prepped to be an omega since I was young. It just never happened and I feel and think more like a beta, regardless of how much I’ve prepared or how things have changed biologically.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, taking her hand. “I shouldn’t have presumed. We can’t help it, things were starting to change within our pack before you became an omega, but since you’ve become one, the changes have become more pronounced. They need to take care of you like you’re an omega, but you’re a prickly sort of omega that doesn’t enjoy being taken care of. And you say things like ‘omega bullshit’, and you keep track of the perks and downfalls of being an omega like Trent keeps track of things he deems as sexual slights against his alphaness. But if you say you don’t hate it then I believe you.”
She lifts my knuckles to her mouth and kisses them. “Change is hard, but I’m alright. Going into heat and being overly emotional at times is annoying, but I can deal with it. And I really do want a baby with you. I don’t want to wait until things are settled, because things will never be truly settled. If we wait to have a baby until our lives are calm enough, we’ll never have one. I don’t think our lives will ever be calm, but we can be happy and live.”
That’s good enough for me. “Okay. I can agree with all of that. I’m glad you don’t hate being an omega. I think you’re a wonderful omega. I just want you to be okay.”
“I am okay, princess. I really am. And as far as having babies goes, I think now is as good a time as any to have them. And we’re young enough to really enjoy them. Does the Johnson half of our pack even want kids? I know the Zaphir half does.”
“Let's find out. Call a pack meeting.”
“Now?”
“Yes, now. I had a heat spike this morning. If you want a baby with me this round we need to make sure everyone is on board.”
She reaches over and tugs my earlobe. “You're sure?”
“I'm as sure as you are, cupcake. Come on, let's go make the day interesting.”
It takes all of three minutes for everyone to get to the kitchen table after I send out the wordsPack meeting in the kitchento the group text. I don't wait for them to start asking questions or making jokes. “Raise your hand if you do not want to help me get Talia pregnant in a couple weeks.”
Nobody raises their hand, but Corso's face splits into the biggest grin I've seen from him. Nobody says anything either, and after a few seconds anxiety slams into me. It's straight from Devon, and I shoot him a look, silently daring him to make this awkward, uncomfortable, or awful.
Devon shakes his head. Talia's shoulder's slump, and Alex narrows his eyes. Actually, everyone at the table other than Talia glares at him.
“No, listen. Just wait. Talia. Do you really want to have a baby right now? Really? Or do you just want to avoid going into heat so often? Please, listen. I'm not being an asshole. Think for just a minute while all of us are sitting here together. Please. Close your eyes and think. Do you want to have a baby right now? With us? It's okay if you do, and it's okay if you don't. We'll give you as many babies as you want, I just want you to be sure you really want that.”
Talia holds his gaze for a long moment since she just had this same conversation with me just moments ago, but she does close her eyes. And we all hold our breath while she thinks. A few seconds pass, then she does something unexpected that causes a few of the alphas at the table to purr. Talia's head tilts to the side and her hands slowly raise up to her chest to mimic holding a baby against her. She pauses like that for a full minute before the corner of her mouth turns up, just a tiny bit. “Yes. A baby would be good. We can have a baby here and love it. Not having a heat cycle would be the perk, not the other way around.” She opens her eyes and looks straight at Devon, “I know it's soon, and I know you're worried. But I feel I'll be happier and less stressed with a ton of kids oddly. And I want them while everything is fresh and new with us. Do you hate the idea?”
“No, cupcake. I don't hate it. I don't know if you'll be able to live with us once you're pregnant, though. And that poor kid is going to be such a spoiled brat.”
“Okay,” she smiles at him, a genuine one. “Jasper first. Then Corso.”
