Page 14 of The Beta: Part Three
“We sleeping or fucking, sweet pea?”
“Hmmm, sleep first. Then we can fuck.”
“Let’s make love instead. I think you need it.”
I nod and put a kiss on his chest. He’s right, I do need it.
Chapter five
Devon
She won't let me apologize. A few kisses and words are fine, but I need to make up for being so fucking horrible to her. For letting her put herself on the line again and again knowing the damage it would cause her. But Talia refuses to let me. She’s told me several times that she doesn’t need that from me. And I’m faced with the question of what does she need from me? Because something needs to be done.
I thought she was angry with me after her heat because I couldn't come to her, but she isn't angry. She really isn't. Everyone, including her, has assured me that she isn't angry with me for anything. She won't let me do things for her. She's got a whole dresser full of dead and dying flowers that Alex gave her. She has an entire bookshelf full of books courtesy of everyone; I even brought her a book of twisted fairy tales. She accepted it but she didn't read it, she just put it on her shelf. I've tried food. I've tried weapons. I've even tried a playlist of songs that attempt to convey how guilty and regretful I feel. None of it seems to matter. She just smiles at me and gives me the equivalent of a head pat and then goes on with whatever she was doing.
All the kisses have been initiated by me. All the touching comes from me. She doesn't reach for me and I fuckingneedher to. I need her forgiveness. I need it.
I followed her down to the training room in the basement. For a fancy ass manor, this place is very modern. I expected a cellar full of cobwebs and dirt, but here we stand in a brightly lit area filled with equipment and mats. She and Jasper come down here almost every morning to workout or spar. Nathan hinted that most of their sessions usually end with sex. I didn't follow her down here to watch her and Jasper fuck, but I will never be disappointed to find them in the act.
Right now they're flipping and thumping all over the squared off sparring section in the center of the room. I'm sure they know I'm here watching, but neither of them pay me any attention. Watching them go at each other is fascinating. I can see that they're both holding back, trying not to hurt each other. They could both go so much harder.
“Devon!” Jasper yells. “Are you just going to stand around watching?”
And with that, I guess I'm officially healed and deemed ready for business as usual. I was probably fully healed days ago, but Talia was adamant that I needed just a bit longer. A surge of happy adrenaline rushes through me as I realize I'll be cleared to train and build my stamina back up. And fuck. I'll be able to fuck. Not that I'd ever complain about the amount of blowjobs I've enjoyed or the number of times Jasper has made me cum all over his hands... but those things aren't fucking.
“You need to go easy on him,” Talia insists. “He hasn't been able to do much more than go for walks in weeks. Be careful.”
She starts to walk off the mat but Jasper pulls her back. “Both of us. Even out of shape Devon can handle both of us.” Jasper winks at her.
“Don't tease the alpha, princess. I'm not in the mood for a tantrum.”
Tantrum. I guess I have had a few tantrums since she's been with us. That's just another thing I need to atone for.
“We're going to do more than tease him.”
“No,” Talia pops her hip out and cocks her head, “we're not. We can do a couple circuits with him but I won't have him exhausted or hurt. And you're going to be gentle with him or you and I can have a real go.”
I'm not really sure which part of what she said bothers me most, that she thinks I'm fragile, or that she's offering to have a real bout with Jasper. It might not be a fair match. Based on everything I've heard from the others, it might not go in Jasper's favor; and if it did go in his favor I'd have to cut in and protect her from him. It would be a shit sandwich I don't want to be in the middle of.
Jasper throws her a sideways grin. “We can have a real go with or without Devon getting hurt. I'll be gentle with you, too.” She rolls her eyes.
“Two circuits, and one short, modified bout. If he so much as twitches wrong I'm calling it. Clear?”
“Clear.” He's still grinning at her.
“I'm right fucking here,” I repeat the words she said a few weeks ago when we were talking about when she might go into heat again. “I can handle the two of you. You don't need to be gentle.”
“Don't argue with me, Devon. If I go at you the way I go at him,” she tips her head at Jasper, “I could hurt you. You're still not at your best.” Then she looks back at Jasper, again like I'm not standing here. “Thirty percent.”
“Seventy,” he counters.
“Forty-five.”
“Sixty.”
“I'll leave right now.”
“Fine,” Jasper huffs. “Forty-five.”
