Page 48 of Royal Darling
I want to bail. It’s a shite move, but things just got serious as fuck. I yank my clothes back on. What am I even doing here with a princess? Then I remember our deal. The diamond ring that could set up Jack for life. That’s a decent reason to stay around, even though I feel dirty, in a bad way, for the exchange of sex and money. It was supposed to be for guitar lessons. Bloody hell, I botched this deal beyond repair. That’s what happens when I lead with my dick.
Truth is, money aside, the bigger problem with Emma is it’snotjust sex. I can deal with walking away from great sex. I’ve had it before, I’ll have it again. Though her combination of sweet and dirty is new for me, an irresistible combination. Okay, it is the sex, but it’s also the music. It’s back for the first time in months, rumbling through my mind, and what we create together is better than anything I could do on my own. She’s starting to come up with melodies and countermelodies. She hums or sings the notes and I pick it up on the guitar. I’ve been thinking of adding piano too, something I haven’t wanted with Charlie always being the one on the keyboard. I’ve been thinking of getting her into the studio, recording her voice.
I’ve been thinking too much is the problem.
She returns a few minutes later, dressed and composed. She gives me a small smile. “Well. That was another new experience. I’m really living it up now, aren’t I? Taking a walk on the Jackson side.”
My back gets up for no other reason than I’m entangled with her and I don’t even know how I got here. “Is that what I am? A diversion for you? See how the other half lives?”
She presses her luscious lips into a flat line. “I didn’t say that.”
“You should. I am after all just a commoner, an uneducated, self-taught rocker. That doesn’t exactly fit the royal prince you’re meant for.”
Her eyes flash. “I was engaged to a prince and left him. What’s your problem? You’re the one who forgot the condom.”
I cross my arms. “You’re the one who went along with it eagerly. Don’t tell me you didn’t feel the difference skin on skin.”
“I was too far gone!”
I throw my hands up. “So was I!”
She shakes her head. “Jackson, this is crazy. What’re we fighting about? We forgot the condom. It happens. Let’s go.”
“That’s it? It happens, and let’s go shopping?”
She nods once. “Yes.”
“What if you’re pregnant?”
She looks up to the ceiling and back to me. “It’s too soon to know. It’s probably fine.”
“A child out of wedlock to a rocker? That’s going to go down well with your royal family.”
“I can’t worry about the what-ifs.” She takes a step toward the door, and I snag her by the arm before she can make her escape.
“Humor me. What if?”
She stares at my chest. “He or she would have royal blood, which means my family would likely take me in, and the child will want for nothing.”
My gut clenches. Obviously I’m not needed for any part of this picture. I should be glad, but I’m pissed off. It’s like she said “thanks and so long!” It’s not like evenoncein my life I imagined myself married with a family. I don’t know any happy families, no solid marriages. Relationships always crash and burn, which is why I avoid them. I should get out before I get in any deeper. She doesn’t need me. Maybe I don’t need her either.
But am I really going to abandon a child like my arsehole father? Abandon Jack’s chance at a secure future? He’s four years old. Fuck.
“I’m sure we have nothing to worry about,” she says firmly.
She’s in denial, which is probably how she ended up bailing at the very last minute on her wedding. Denial all the way up to the end. Only this time it’s with me, and I’m not letting it go that easily. “When will you know?” I ask.
She chews her bottom lip. “I don’t know. Things were a blur of wedding planning and activities. I lost track of my cycle.”
“So we just play it by ear?”
She smiles. “Yes, we do. And you know what? Playing it by ear has been working really well for me.”
I shake my head. This is not at all like improvising music. “We’re getting you a pregnancy test. You can take it in two weeks, yeah? Or three? Let’s get a few. We have to be sure.”
“I’ll have Viktor get some on a clandestine mission. He can be trusted to be discreet.”
“A clandestine…yeah, okay.” I fucked things up big time. The worst, most idiotic part is Iwantto go shopping with her. I want to see her dress like a normal twenty-five-year-old instead of an old lady. I want to see her letting go and enjoying life. It’s almost like I’m discovering life right along with her. I’m hooked on Emma. She’s the drug I can’t quit.
