Page 71 of Mess With Me
Ethan picked at the label on his beer bottle. “I should’ve visited her more. I can’t believe she left me and Zach everything. I thought we were just two of a long line of kids passing through.”
“Peggy wasn’t the kind to gush over someone. She showed them her love by taking care of them.”
Ethan took a pull on his beer, desperate to loosen up the tight ball of regret lodged there. He met Joe’s kind brown eyes, the only dad he’d ever known and a damn good one at that. His role model. He’d become a cop because of Joe. He wanted to say the words for him too. He should’ve said them long ago. He cleared his throat, but the words still came out on a croak, “I love you, Dad.” He’d never called him dad out loud before either. It felt right.
His dad smiled, the lines around his eyes crinkling. “I love you too, Ethan.”
His heart thundered at the words he’d waited his whole life to hear and now he’d heard them several times over. He rubbed his knuckles over the wetness in his eyes. How had he not known deep down that he had love in his life? And why couldn’t he say it for so long?
His dad squeezed his shoulder. “You’ve been family since the first time you sneered at me at eight years old. I saw through that tough veneer to the good heart underneath.”
“No one adopted me.” He hated that it still mattered. Why hadn’t they? Why hadn’t Peggy? He could understand Joe not adopting him. He was a single dad with six kids plus Parker. There were so many kids at the Campbell house, Joe could barely fit them all, everyone doubling up with bunk beds, Parker on the sofa.
“Eth, Peggy wanted to. She tried to adopt you and Zach. She wanted you to stay together, but Social Services wasn’t keen on letting single women adopt back then and they were also concerned about her age. She was sixty when she applied.”
Ethan’s mind whirled. “What? Why didn’t anyone tell me?”
“She didn’t want to get your hopes up if it didn’t work out.”
“But I would’ve wanted to know. Does Zach know?”
His dad shook his head. “You guys were ten. It was a judgment call. She pleaded her case with Social Services, and they decided not to pursue other adoptive parents for you guys. She could be your foster mom as long as she was in good health. It was an unofficial adoption.”
Ethan clenched his jaw. He could’ve been adopted for real or at least known Peggy wanted him enough to try. How much time and energy had he wasted being angry at the world for not being wanted? And Peggy lived to be eighty-four. She definitely could’ve been his adoptive mom. What kind of system turns away a perfectly capable woman from making a family?
His dad interrupted his dark thoughts. “I think you and Zach were meant to go to her. She gave you a stable foundation; we gave you the crazy family. I’d say you turned out okay. And, Eth, you made everyone so proud with your work, all your commendations, and how you’ve been there for all your brothers and little sister.”
Ethan rubbed his forehead and closed his eyes. “Today was the first time I’ve ever said I love you to anyone.”
“What’s been stopping you?”
He opened his eyes, the truth painful to admit. “I don’t know.”
His dad socked him on the shoulder. “We all know you love us; otherwise you wouldn’t keep hanging around.”
He laughed a little. “Yeah.”
The doorbell rang and his dad went to answer it. Ethan pulled out his phone and texted Zach about Peggy trying to adopt them and being turned down. Zach texted back a moment later.All good. End result was the same.
Obviously Zach didn’t have adoption hang-ups like Ethan did. Ethan stood and headed toward the happy noise of two-year-old Viv in the living room. Her parents, Alex and Lauren, were probably dropping off Viv before they left for their honeymoon, a short couple of days away to the Finger Lakes of New York.
Ethan couldn’t help but smile at little Viv. She certainly had her own unique style. She wore her beloved Frankenstein mask with her pigtails sticking out the top, with a Wonder Woman outfit complete with gold wristbands. Halloween was on Thursday.
“Wow,” Ethan said. “Awesome costume, Viv.”
She growled at him and then ran one length of the room to the other, her red cape flying out behind her.
“Hey, Eth,” Alex said. His honorary brother was three years younger and a good man. A great dad to Viv too.
Ethan’s chest ached and he walked right over and hugged Alex, who stiffened and then clapped him on the back. “Love you, bro,” Ethan croaked.
Alex’s eyes were wide. “Ah…I love you too.”
Viv ran over and clung to Alex’s leg. Ethan bent down, the words coming easier now. “I love you, scary Wonder Woman.”
“Love you, Efan,” she said in the sweetest voice.
His hand went to his heart. He straightened and met Lauren’s kind eyes. “She got me.”
