Page 36 of Mess With Me
He laughed, a short bark of a laugh.
She fingered the silver heart, her skin hot underneath the cool metal.
Ethan tried not to think too hard on Ally’s wedding to herself and what it all meant during their lunch, but his mind kept circling back to it. He waited until she had a chance to eat a slice of pizza and was pushing her salad around with a fork before saying, “So how did Claire get married to herself when she’s already married to Jake?”Chicken.That wasn’t the question he really needed to ask.
“I told you it’s not a legally binding ceremony.” She chomped on a crouton, looking thoughtful. “It’s more about honoring yourself. Vowing not to settle for less than you deserve, especially in relationships. Sets the bar higher, you know? I’m learning to be content as a single person. I guess you already figured all that out, but it’s new for me.”
He wasn’t content. He ached with want. Not just lust either. He wanted a home. Arealhome with a family of his own. His blood. Losing his foster mom weeks ago had put that all into perspective. “I guess,” he muttered.
Ally set her fork down. “Eth, for the first time in my life, I’m fully content to make my life fantastic all by myself.”
He finally spit it out. “So what’s the plan now that you’ve taken this vow? You gonna be single for a long time?”
She stared at the table. “I’m not sure. I’m still figuring things out.” She met his eyes, seeming to be searching his expression. “If the right person came along at the right time…”
He held his breath. Was he that right person? Did she see that in him?
She swallowed visibly, looking away. “The point is I’m not spending all my energy looking and hoping and wishing.”
“Huh.”So how long do I have to wait before I make a move?
She wiped her mouth with a napkin. “If by ‘huh,’ you mean awesome, then I agree.”
“Did you used to spend a lot of energy wishing?” He didn’t wish for anything. He made it happen or it didn’t.
She gave him a small almost sad smile. “Maybe it’s not the same for guys. I grew up wanting to be Cinderella and waiting for my prince.”
“Yeah, no fun to be waiting around for someone. Better to just live your life and then, if you do meet someone, go for it.” Once you get the signal, he added silently. He needed a signal.
She cocked her head and smiled sunnily. “Now where were you ten years ago?”
The blood rushed through his veins. “Right here working.”
She waved airily and then started gathering the trash from their meal. “Not literally. I was sixteen back then. That was the beginning of my romantic fantasies.”
He helped her gather the trash. “Tell me your fantasies.” He didn’t expect an answer. He’d been half teasing anyway.
“That’s exactly the point! They weren’t my fantasies. They were propaganda.” Her voice rose in indignation. “A sparkly glittery fairy tale where I’m passively waiting for the one perfect prince who will take me away from myself and gift me with eternal happiness.” She stood and glared down at him still sitting at the table. “You see how that could fuck someone up?”
He stood. “Yes.”
“Well, no more. I quit.” She marched over to the garbage can and shoved the trash in.
He followed suit. Then she smashed her large hat on top of her head and snarled, “Ready.”
“Easy, tiger. I’m not the enemy.”
“Sorry, I get really worked up about this. It’s not right that women have this stuff fed to them at such a young age. It really fucks with your head.”
He placed himself firmly on her side. “Where the hell would you find a prince anyway, right? Unrealistic.”
She laughed. “It’s not actual royalty. It just means a man who’s handsome, strong, spouts poetry, makes you feel like you’re the center of his world.”
He would do all of that if it meant he could have Ally in his life. He headed for the exit and held the door open for her. “Poetry,” he said as she passed, “sounds like a wuss.”
She laughed. “Tough guy.”
Pace yourself.
