Page 7 of Mess With Me
No one had ever said they loved him. Not Peggy, not any of the Campbells, not a girlfriend. Okay, sure, Joe Campbell, his honorary dad, had included him in stuff like that—love you guys, love you knuckleheads—but it had never been specific tohim. No one had ever said, “I love you, Ethan.”
Ally’s blond hair fell in her face as she held her mug, staring down at it. He wanted to brush her hair behind her ear, stroke her cheek to see if it was as soft as it looked. Timing was bad. She was too upset. He knew he had to wait, though every instinct was telling him to go for it.
Maybe he’d already been heading in this settled-down direction before Peggy’s death. He hadn’t taken a woman to his bed in a while. He’d been choosy because he wanted to wake up with someone who made him smile. Maybe that was corny or unrealistic—he wasn’t much of a smiler anyway—but that was where he’d drawn the line. He had enough harsh in his line of work and he longed for the simple genuine happiness of waking up to a woman who could make him smile.
Ally looked up and slapped her palm on the table. “Do you have any idea how much time and energy I’ve wasted looking for love, trying to hang onto love, and hoping for love?”
It seemed like a rhetorical question, so he remained quiet.
“A lot?” Cali guessed.
“Too damn much!” Ally exclaimed. “I was sold a bill of goods that love would solve everything. It doesn’t.” She slowly shook her head. “I need to learn a new way. I’ve put my life on hold, waiting for the fairy tale. I need to break free of that mindset.” Her blue eyes lit up. “Like a butterfly breaking out of its chrysalis, you know? I need to focus on me and find what will make me happy.”
“And what’s that?” Ethan asked.
Ally folded her hands on the table and stared at them. “I don’t know, but I know I need to find out.” She turned to Cali. “I really liked what you said about being responsible for your own happiness.”
Cali gave her a high five and Ally turned to him. He gave her one, happy to see her looking more steady and confident.
Ally blew out a breath. “You know, I think maybe subconsciously I was preparing for a solo life. I just moved into a one-bedroom apartment, living alone for the first time in my life, though I did move near friends.” She pursed her sexy lips. “And I probably wouldn’t have moved if my roommate, Carrie, hadn’t moved in with her fiancé.” She waved that away. “It still counts.” She stared at Cali’s sculpted arm. “Maybe I can start with a fitness regimen to take better care of myself. Not even to look good for a guy, just for me.” She pulled her phone from her purse. “I’m going to text Charlotte right now. She’s a personal trainer. I’ll get a session in with her or at least some advice on what to do.” She texted rapidly and then put her phone away. “Done.”
“You look fit to me,” Ethan said casually.Just pointing out a fact, not lusting over your sexy little body.
“I’m naturally petite, but I’m not strong.” Ally flexed her biceps, which were nonexistent. “I want to be strong like you, Cali.”
Cali popped a bicep. “I lift weights.”
“That’s an idea too.” Ally blew out a breath that made her bangs lift. “God, I’ve lost so much time, so much wasted—” She stopped herself. “I’ll make a plan. You know, stuff I want to try. Self-improvement things to kind of meet the new me.”
“I like it,” Cali said. “The butterfly version of you.”
“Yes,” Ally breathed. “Yes, I love that.”
“Sounds good to me,” Ethan put in.
“I’m actually looking forward to it,” Ally said firmly with a bob of her head. “A new direction. I’m going to learn to enjoy being single so I can be responsible for my own happiness.” Her blue eyes were shining, her smile bright, and he wanted her. In his bed and in his life.
Her new quest to enjoy singlehood should’ve been a deterrent for him, but it wasn’t. Tell him he couldn’t do something and he instantly wanted to. Part of his contrary nature that got him where he was today. He’d had a real problem with authority as a kid, angry and belligerent, big chip on his shoulder over no one wanting to adopt him. Not even Peggy, though he’d lived with her the longest. So what did he do? He became the authority figure he once despised. He was careful not to be an ass about it; he was one of the good guys.
Ally sipped her coffee and then put her mug down. “Isn’t it funny I came to this conclusion here with you guys? Normally I’d be a little secretly jealous, but no. I’m just happy for you and for me.”
Cali’s brows scrunched down in puzzlement. Ethan sipped his coffee and said nothing. He had to pick his moment. This wasn’t it.
Ally smiled to herself, shaking her head, and then pointed at him. “Isn’t it hilarious everyone used to think you were a sex addict when you’re so obviously not?” She gestured to Cali, who missed it because she was busy frowning and adjusting her strapless bra. He’d heard all about the evils of underwire on the drive over here.
“Yeah, hilarious,” he said deadpan. That had been a rumor started by his honorary dad, Joe, with good intentions to make sure Lauren shifted her focus away from Ethan and onto Alex. Lauren and Alex were now engaged. Ethan didn’t take it personally. All for a good cause and he’d lost nothing from Lauren and her friends avoiding him for a few weeks. Besides, it gave him a primo opportunity to play a prank back on Joe. He told him he wouldn’t know when it was coming, but it would. Vague threats worked best. Except Joe was a tough cop, Ethan’s role model, really, and merely got a good laugh over the threat.
Ally cocked her head at him. “You don’t laugh much, do you?”
“No, he doesn’t,” Cali answered for him, finally done adjusting her boobs. “Neither do I. Life isn’t a ha-ha-whee-e-e ride.” Her voice rose on the whee-e-e-e in a dry approximation of a good time.
He and Ally took one look at each other and cracked up. Cali remained stoic.
“You should smile more,” Ally told him. “It makes you look so much younger and approachable.”
Implied insult—smile more, old man. “How do I normally look?” he asked through his teeth.
“Like a tough guy.” She hid a smile by sipping her coffee.
